Sexy Presents:
by The-Ood-Must-Feed
Summary: When The Eleventh Doctor and gang, Capt. Jack Harkness, The Tenth Doctor and Rose Tyler are all transported to a mysterious, Pardox-proof room deep in the galaxy with instructions from a mysterious "Sexy" to watch a strange show entitled "Doctor Who" what fun hell will ensue?
1. Preface

'**Ello! I'm starting this new fanfiction ^,^ I'm not sure if there is others like it, but this brilliant idea popped into my vast brain while scrolling through Tumblr Gifs. So, I'll try to update every week, and I'm already starting to write the next chapter. This is just the Preface, so bear with me please! Oh, and I apologize for any spacing problems, my computer's a bit of a Meanie-Head. Reviews are always appreciated, but aren't forced. :D **

** ~The-Ood-Must-Feed**

Rose and The Tenth Doctor were laughing uncontrollably after their latest encounter with the Great Duke of Barcelona (The Planet). They had talked the Duchess of Whales (The planet) out of taking over Barcelona's stocks with a plasma gun. Quite funny, quite. Rose looked over at her Doctor and puffed out her chest and spoke in a gravelly voice:

"I am the one and only Great Duchess of Whales! You must bow down to me!" Which sent them into another fit of giggles. The Doctor winked at her before speaking in a shrill voice when a faint golden light enveloped them, transporting them into a much different room.

~~

Rory came up behind Amy and engulfed her in a hug as The Doctor fended off River Song from trying to fly the TARDIS. Amy was giggling with her "Stupid Face" while he chuckled and captured her in a kiss. River looked over at the Doctor, annoyed and stated dangerously calm "Sweetie. I know how to fly the TARDIS. Now just step aside-."

"No River, I believe that being with her for eight hundred plus years, I know how to fly her better!" The Doctor argued back. The TARDIS purred as if wanting part in the discussion when a faint golden light took them as well.

~~

Jack leaned into the other alien's third face and replied in a husky tone "Of course I'm the Duke of Manhattan." The non-gender-defined alien grinned and leaned in, unbuttoning Jack's shirt with one of its many hands. He laughed joyfully until the light took him too.

~~

The tenth Doctor and Rose landed on a plush TARDIS blue couch, yelling slightly. At the same time, on a larger couch was deposited River, Amy, Rory and Eleven. Once again, with a few yips. Mainly from Amy and Rory. Jack just fell and landed on a large chair, upside down, shirt un-buttoned and breathing heavily. None of them really noticed their surroundings until Jack looked up and asked "Who the bloody Hell are you all?"

~~

"FINGERS ON LIPS!" Yelled out the Tenth Doctor as everyone stood in the middle of the large room, yelling all at once. They all looked at him, and he motioned towards his finger on his lips. They all slowly put a finger of theirs on their lips. He nodded, and removed his own finger to begin speaking.

"We ALL obviously have been brought here by _someone_ so why not find out whom? I'll start. My names The Doctor and-"

"Wait! I-but you're-but I'm- How is this- But a Paradox- and Rose! Brilliant!" The Eleventh Doctor rambled. A few looked at him quizzically. A light turned on behind them, and the group turned to find a large television turning on. An electronic note appeared on the screen. Jack sighed and began reading the note aloud to the group. It read:

_Everyone, please calm down. My name is…Sexy. Yes, that's my name. Listen, I have brought you here for a few reasons._

_One: The Doctors need a break. Honestly, you can't save the world every day without a break once in awhile._

_Two: You all should meet. It would be good, especially for future purposes. _

_Three: Some things might be able to be avoided. _

_Now I feel as if you should all be introduced. First off, the flirtatious man with the unbuttoned shirt would be Captain Jack. I believe most of you know him, excluding Amy and Rory. That brings me to the Scottish fire cracker. She's known the Doctor since she was young, and has waited for him her whole life. She and her husband Rory travel with him. Now River Song. Well…Spoilers! Now Rose Tyler. Rose Tyler, a fantastic silly pink and yellow human traveling with the Doctor. And the two Doctors. Yes, TWO. And don't fret, this room is deep in the Universe, and is capable of holding the Paradox of two Doctors. It should be easy to see who's who. You're all here to watch a series entitled "Doctor Who" Satellite Nine created it, and it features The Doctor's Ninth regeneration and his adventures onwards. Please watch it, and you will be here for as long as need be. There is this large television to watch them on, and it is enabled with sound recognition technology where during the show if you speak it will pause until it hears silence for three seconds. Please sit down and watch, and it will start. Oh, and there are five rooms here, each containing a bath room and a closet filled with clothes for you each. The room's are assigned as given:_

_Room 1: The Eleventh Doctor_

_Room 2: Rory and Amy_

_Room 3: Professor River Song_

_Room 4: Captain Jack Harkness_

_And Room 5: The Tenth Doctor and Rose._

_Stop being modest, Room five bunkers! To contain the paradox that would have ocured I could only have a few rooms, and seven was the limit. There is this room, the five adjoining rooms and a kitchen stocked full with as much food as you will need, including Fish Fingers and Custard. Oh! And please, save all the awkward greetings until the episode finishes. After the first episode, Awkward it up all you want. _

_-S_

Jack finished the note and shrugged, looking at all the astonished faces. He shrugged, plopping into his chair, starting to button up his shirt. Everyone still stood there, shocked.

"But….The room arrangements!" Began a blushing Tenth Doctor

"And nothing can hold the this massive of a paradox!" Shouted the Eleventh.

"For that matter why are we all here? This is pointless!" Shouted Amy. Another note lit up the screen. Jack read it aloud once more.

_Please just watch the first episode. After that, I'll give you each a question. Come now, sit down. ~Sexy_

"Listen. We should all just Sexy said and watch the show we'll find out everything sooner!" sighed Rory, sitting down on his side of the large couch, and Amy sat with him. River Song shrugged and sat down by her parents who were still not aware of whom she was. Eleven and Ten continued staring at each other until Rose looked at Ten and leaned up to whisper into his ear. He looked at her a moment later and nodded, them sitting on the small Love Seat together. Eleven sighed, and sat down, adjusting his Bow-Tie until the television came back to life.

~~

**So that was the preface :D If you have anything to say, please review! Next chapter will be up soon XD ~The-Ood-Must-Feed**


	2. Rose

**First off, thank you for all the Alerts, Favourites and Reviews, it means to world to me! :D Secondly, my little design to separate parts of the story didn't upload properly, so the Preface's spacing looked horrid! Sorry! I'll try something else. :D And lastly, I try not to have too-long Author's notes, if need be :D Oh, and one last, thing, I realize this is a few days late, but school starts back up again for me tomorrow, and life's been hectic! Thanks again and here's the next chapter, focusing on the episode 'Rose'**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT type up the transcripts for the episode, they are from a brilliant website made by a girl named Chrissie. Link at the bottom AND on my profile! And I sadly don't own Doctor Who, for if I did, when Matt Smith regenerated to the new Twelve he would become David Tennant. Again. ;D**

**~The-Ood-Must-Feed**

The television came to life, relieving some of the social tension in the room.

**[The Tyler's flat]**

**(Earth, United Kingdom, South London. An alarm clock goes off at 7:30. A young blonde woman gets up, dressed and kisses her mother goodbye.**

"You seem like a morning person….nutter." Laughed Jack to in return receive a famous Rose Tyler's stuck-out tongue. He smiled cheekily back at her. Everyone was silent for three seconds, a collective effort to see the technology at work. It resumed a moment later.

**A mother who is also blonde, still in her dressing gown and lazing on the settee while watching TV.)  
ROSE: Bye!  
JACKIE: See you later! **

**[Henricks Department Store]**

"Oh, I used to go to Henricks all the time!" laughed Amy, looking at the store that had mysteriously exploded back in '05.

**(Rose takes the bus to Central London and gets off outside the department store. There is a banner across the main entrance - Henrick's sale sale Henrick's.  
The day passes. Rose moves piles of display clothes around the ladies wear section, meets her boyfriend for a snack lunch in Trafalgar Square then goes back to work. Eventually -)  
TANNOY: This is a customer announcement. The store will be closing in five minutes. Thank you.  
(Rose and the other girls head for the main doors. The guard shakes a clear plastic bag in front of Rose.)  
GUARD: Oi! **

"That was a bit rude." Sniffed the Tenth Doctor, fearing that Rose had been offended. He always was overprotective. She giggled, and placed a hand on his upper arm, turning towards him.

"It may have been a bit rude, but if he wasn't I would have never met you." She smiled at that and the goofy grin spreading over his face. The other's watched in amusement at their encounter, excluding River and the Eleventh Doctor. He looked on in sadness and pain, while she looked on in slight jealously.

(Rose takes the bag and runs back to a lift and goes down to the basement.)  
ROSE: Wilson? Wilson, I've got the lottery money. Wilson, are you there?  
(A door with a large danger of electric shock sign also claims to be the office of H P Wilson, CEO.)  
ROSE: I can't hang about 'cos they're closing the shop. Wilson! Oh, come on.  
(There is a clattering noise further down the corridor.)  
ROSE: Hello? Hello, Wilson, it's Rose. Hello? Wilson?

"This isn't creepy at all!" said Amy sarcastically, and Rose stifled a laugh. She had no idea.

(She opens the door to a store room and turns on the lights. There are boxes of clothes, and dressed dummies.)  
ROSE: Wilson? Wilson!  
(As she explores, the door slams behind her. Rose runs back but it won't open.)  
ROSE: You're kidding me.  
(More noises behind her.)  
ROSE: Is that someone mucking about? Who is it?  
(A male shop dummy turns to watch her, then approaches.)

"Aah!" jumped Rory, surprised at the frightening movement of the shop mannequin. Amy laughed slightly at his outburst, even though she almost did the same thing.

ROSE: Yeah, you got me. Very funny.  
(A second one starts moving behind it, then a third.)  
ROSE: Right, I've got the joke. Who's idea was this? Is it Derek's? Is it? Derek, is this you?  
(More shop dummies start moving as Rose keeps backing away down the storage area. Finally they have her up against the wall, and the lead dummy raises its arm. Then a hand grabs Rose's wrist.)  
DOCTOR: Run.

"Look how good I looked back then!" Laughed the Eleventh Doctor, and most people did a double take.

"That's _you_?!" Asked an astonished Amy. She knew of the regeneration cycle but…wow.

"Look at that! Nice fashion sense, huh?" laughed Ten and Eleven joined in whith Rose's and Jack's laughs. River looked inquistly at his Ninth self.

"Sweetie….Your old ears are rather…."She motioned her head growing larger.

"Oi! My ears were fantastic!" spoke the Tenth indiginatly. Rose bit back a giggle, tapped him on his shoulder and shook her head.

"What?!" he asked, astonished.

"Either way, Rosie still kissed you and your big ears." Laughed Jack, joining the conversation. Ten and Rose turned bright red and River's eyebrows inched up ever so slightly.

"Oi! Listen you lot, as stupid as The Doctor may have looked, can we _please_ get back to the show?" Asked Amy irriatnlty.

The memembers of the conversation sighed and sat down, the show resuming.

(The Doctor has gone modern minimalist, with t-shirt and leather jacket. Everyone say Hi! to Christopher Eccleston.  
He drags Rose through the basement as the Autons - see Jon Pertwee's first story for more details - follow, and into a lift. The lead Auton puts its arm through the closing doors. After several tugs the Doctor pulls it off, and the doors close.)

**[Service lift]**

ROSE: You pulled his arm off.  
DOCTOR: Yep. Plastic.  
ROSE: Very clever. Nice trick! Who were they then, students? Is this a student thing or what?

"Why'd you think of students?" interrupted Jack again. Rose sighed, ready to explain again.

"It honestly wasn't a bad idea." Spoke up the Tenth Doctor. Jack smiled slightly at that and Rose grinned at him as the show resumed.

DOCTOR: Why would they be students?  
ROSE: I don't know.  
DOCTOR: Well, you said it. Why students?  
ROSE: 'Cos to get that many people dressed up and being silly, they got to be students.  
DOCTOR: That makes sense. Well done.  
ROSE: Thanks.  
DOCTOR: They're not students.  
ROSE: Whoever they are, when Wilson finds them, he's going to call the police.  
DOCTOR: Who's Wilson?  
ROSE: Chief electrician.  
DOCTOR: Wilson's dead.

"Great way to break it to her, eh Doctor?" asked Rory, surprised that he was like that, even then.

"Sorry! Sorry!" The Eleventh replied hastily. "But honestly, must I be punished for things my Ninth Self did?" He complained. Amy raised any eyebrow at him as if to say _'Did you REALLY just ask that?' _"Never mind." He pouted, turning towards the television ignoring the bemused glances of Rose and his past self. His hearts thrummed at Rose's name….more for that later.

**[Behind Hendrik's]**

ROSE: That's just not funny. That's sick!

"Told you…." Grumbled Amy, obviously unpleased with the way the past Doctor had handled that. Though she barely knew Rose's name, she had a strange pull to the girl, as if Space and Time _wanted _them to meet….

DOCTOR: Hold on. Mind your eyes.  
ROSE: I've had enough of this now.  
(The Doctor disables the lift mechanism with his sonic screwdriver.)  
ROSE: Who are you, then? Who's that lot down there? I said, who are they?  
DOCTOR: They're made of plastic. Living plastic creatures. They're being controlled by a relay device in the roof, which would be a great big problem if I didn't have this. (a small bomb) So, I'm going to go up there and blow them up, and I might well die in the process, but don't worry about me. No, you go home. Go on. Go and have your lovely beans on toast.

"Beans on toast? I admit I've eaten some bizarre things in my life, but beans on toast?" asked Amy.

"Oi! Don't knock it 'till you try it." Defended Ten.

Don't tell anyone about this, because if you do, you'll get them killed

(He shuts the door behind him, then opens it again.)  
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?  
ROSE: Rose.  
DOCTOR: Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!

"Lovely meet and greet you are." Scoffed Jack. The comment was directed to the Doctor he knew, but both looked up and answered with a loud "Oi!" causing some confusion in general.

**[Street]**

(Rose makes her way to the main road, nervous of the dummies in the shop window. She runs across the road, nearly becoming a hood ornament for a black cab.)

"Rose! That was dangerous!" reprimanded the Tenth Doctor. Rose looked at him for a second in disbelief the bursted out laughing.

"You- You're tellin' me off for runnin' out in traffic, yeah? You're saying that's dangerous, like fightin' Daleks and saving the human race from aliens isn't?" she managed to get out between laughs. He looked at her for a moment, with a look of pure emotions, flickering between many before settling on happy and joing in her for a few chuckles, before the laughter died out and the program resumed.

TAXI DRIVER: Watch it!  
(KaBOOM! A huge fireball takes out the upper floor of Hendrik's. Rose runs straight past an out of date police telephone box parked just in the alley between two other stores.)

"ooh…Foreshadowing! Nice, Nice." Commented Jack.

**[The Tyler's flat]**

(BBC News 24 keeps everyone informed at 20.45.) TELEVISION: The whole of Central London has been closed off as police investigate the fire. Early reports indicate  
(Jackie is on the telephone and Rose is slumped on the settee.)  
JACKIE: I know. It's on the telly. It's everywhere. She's lucky to be alive. Honestly, it's aged her. Skin like an old bible.

"My skin is _not _ like an old bible, mind you." Rose sniffed at Jack who was laughing at her expense.

"Don't worry Rose, your skin looks perfectly un-bibely." Said Ten, enjoying himself.

"er, sorry to intrude, but I can't wait really. How old are you?" Asked Amy forwardly. Rose looked shocked for a second but quickly replaced the look with a war smile. "Twenty. Soon-to be twenty-one in a month or two, though. Linear time, that is." She informed the Ginger.

Walking in now you'd think I was her daughter.

A few scoffed at that.

Oh, and here's himself.  
(Rose's boyfriend, Mickey, enters.)  
MICKEY: I've been phoning your mobile. You could've been dead. It's on the news and everything. I can't believe that your shop went up!  
ROSE: I'm all right, honestly, I'm fine! Don't make a fuss.  
MICKEY: Well, what happened?  
ROSE: I don't know!

"Liar liar, pants on fire!" sung Jack, and he was readily hit with a couch pillow from Rose in good fun.

MICKEY: What was it though? What caused it?

"Live flesh, I assume." River replied to Mickey on the telly, sarcastically

.  
ROSE: I wasn't in the shop. I was outside. I didn't see anything.

"You're such a _liar_." Reprimanded Ten, laughing at his unspoken Love's interaction with her ex-boyfriend.

"At least you can lie without grinning like a bloody idiot!" smiled Rory. Rose smiled sweetly back, and returned her attention to the show that was representing the best years of her life.

JACKIE: It's Debbie on the end. She knows a man on the Mirror. Five hundred quid for an interview.  
ROSE: Oh that's brilliant! Give it here.  
(Rose takes the phone from Jackie and ends the call.)

Jack and both Doctor's snorted at that.

JACKIE: Well, you've got to find some way of making money. Your job's kaput and I'm not bailing you out.  
(The telephone rings again. Jackie answers it.)  
JACKIE: Bev! She's alive. I've told her, sue for compensation. She was within seconds of death.

"You're mum's really melodramatic." Amy informed the blonde woman who was holding hands with her Doctor. Rose laughed at that, the sound making Eleven's hearts thrum.

"Yeah, She is."

MICKEY: What're you drinking, tea? Nah, nah, that's no good, that's no good. You're in shock. You need something stronger.  
ROSE: I'm all right.  
MICKEY: Now, come on, you deserve a proper drink. We're going down the pub, you and me. My treat. How about it?

"Lemme guess…A match?" asked Rory, looking at Rose for conformation, and when she smiled at the comment, he beamed at his deduction.  
ROSE: Is there a match on?  
MICKEY: No, I'm just thinking about you, babe.

"oh, _I'm _ the liar?" laughed Rose at the statement from years ago.

ROSE: There's a match on, ain't there.  
MICKEY: That's not the point, but we could catch the last five minutes.  
ROSE: Go on, then. I'm fine, really. Go. Get rid of that.  
(Rose has brought the Auton's arm home. They kiss, then Mickey picks up the arm.)  
MICKEY: Bye, bye.  
ROSE: Bye.  
(Mickey pretends to be strangled by the arm, then leaves.)  
TELEVISION: Fire then spread throughout the store. Fifteen fire crews are in attendance though it's thought there is very little chance of saving the infrastructure.  
(Whistling, Mickey throws the arm into a rubbish bin, while somewhere nearby a couple are having a blazing row.)

**[Rose's bedroom]**

(Next morning, Rose's alarm goes off at 7:30 as usual.)  
JACKIE: There's no point in getting up, sweetheart. You've got no job to go to.

"Oh, she's lovely, she is." Laughed River.

**[The Tyler's flat]**

JACKIE: There's Finch's. You could try them. They've always got jobs.  
ROSE: Oh, great. The butchers.  
JACKIE: Well, it might do you good. That shop was giving you airs and graces. And I'm not joking about compensation. You've had genuine shock and trauma. Arianna got two thousand quid off the council just because the old man behind the desk said she looked Greek! I know she is Greek, but that's not the point. It was a valid claim.

"Does she know the meaning of 'Valid Claim'?" Questioned Ten. Rose rolled her eyes, laughing and stroked his hand with her thumb sub-consciously, continuing to watch her life re-play.

(Something rattles at the door.)  
ROSE: Mum, you're such a liar. I told you to nail that cat flap down. We're going to get strays.  
JACKIE: I did it weeks back!  
ROSE: No, you thought about it.

Jack scoffed at that.

(The screws for the cat flap are on the floor. Then the flap moves. Rose opens it. It's the Doctor trying to look through. She opens the door.)  
DOCTOR: What're you doing here?  
ROSE: I live here.  
DOCTOR: Well, what do you do that for?  
ROSE: Because I do. I'm only at home because someone blew up my job.  
DOCTOR: I must have got the wrong signal. You're not plastic, are you? No, bonehead. Bye, then.  
ROSE: You. Inside. Right now.  
(Rose pulls the Doctor into the flat.)  
JACKIE [OC]: Who is it?

**[Jackie's bedroom]**

(Jackie is in her bedroom putting on her makeup.)  
ROSE: It's about last night. He's part of the inquiry. Give us ten minutes.  
JACKIE: She deserves compensation.  
(The Doctor is in the open doorway.)  
DOCTOR: Oh, we're talking millions.  
JACKIE: I'm in my dressing gown.  
DOCTOR: Yes, you are.  
JACKIE: There's a strange man in my bedroom.  
DOCTOR: Yes, there is.  
JACKIE: Well, anything could happen.  
DOCTOR: No.

Everyone busted out laughing at that, and Rose had tears in her eyes. Jack and Rory were clutching their sides, everyone getting a good laugh, relieving some of the awkward tension in the room.

**[The Tyler's flat]**

ROSE: Don't mind the mess. Do you want a coffee?  
DOCTOR: Might as well, thanks. Just milk.  
ROSE: We should go to the police. Seriously. Both of us.  
(The Doctor looks at the copy of Heat on the coffee table.)  
DOCTOR: That won't last, he's gay and she's an alien.

"Were you talking 'bout me, Doctor?" asked a winking Jack.

ROSE: I'm not blaming you, even if it was just some sort of joke that went wrong.  
(The Doctor flicks through a paperback.)  
DOCTOR: Hmm. Sad ending.

"Spoilers." River said happily, letting her catchphrase have a double meaning, and Eleven, and the Ponds giggled at that, and strangely Jack cracked a smile.

ROSE: They said on the news they'd found a body.  
DOCTOR: Rose Tyler.  
(The Doctor sees his reflection in a mirror, and behaves as if he's just regenerated and is just seeing himself for the first time.)  
DOCTOR: Ah, could've been worse. Look at the ears.  
ROSE: All the same, he was nice. Nice bloke.  
(THe Doctor tries to shuffle a pack of cards.  
DOCTOR: Luck be a lady.  
ROSE: Anyway, if we are going to go to the police, I want to know what I'm saying.  
(The pack of cards goes flying.)  
ROSE: I want you to explain everything.  
DOCTOR: Maybe not.  
(The cat flap rattles.)  
DOCTOR: What's that, then? You got a cat?  
ROSE: No.  
(Unseen by anyone else, the Auton arm grabs the Doctor by the throat)  
ROSE: We did have, but now they're just strays. They come in off the estate.  
(Rose comes in from the kitchen area with two mugs of instant coffee. The Doctor is still being strangled, but she takes no notice.)  
ROSE: I told Mickey to chuck that out. You're all the same. Give a man a plastic hand. Anyway, I don't even know your name. Doctor, what was it?  
(The Doctor manages to throw the arm off. It stops in mid air and grabs Rose's face instead. The Doctor pulls at it, pulling Rose down on top of him as they fall onto the coffee table and smash it. Jackie is using her hairdryer and hears nothing. The Doctor finally gets it off Rose with his sonic screwdriver, then jabs the device into its palm. The fingers stop flexing.)

"Sorry 'bout that." Said Ten, sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. Rose smiled, waving it off.

DOCTOR: It's all right, I've stopped it. There you go, you see? Armless.  
ROSE: Do you think?  
(Rose hits him with it.)  
DOCTOR: Ow!

Rose and Jack shared a look and snorted.

**[Staircase]**

ROSE: Hold on a minute. You can't just go swanning off.  
DOCTOR: Yes I can. Here I am. This is me, swanning off. See you.

"You know, there's this thing called manners…Learn 'em." Amy told Ten.

"Oi! I've learned 'em! In linear time that was two and half years ago!" He protested. Rose squeezed his hand, letting him know that she thought he learned them as well.

ROSE: But that arm was moving. It tried to kill me.  
DOCTOR: Ten out of ten for observation.

"Manners…" muttered Amy.

ROSE: You can't just walk away. That's not fair. You've got to tell me what's going on.  
DOCTOR: No, I don't.

"Holy T.A.R.D.I.S.! Honestly, Doctor, did your Ninth self have a severe lack of manners? Or was he just thick?" Asked an amused River, glad she hadn't met him in that regeneration.

**[Outside the block of flats]**

ROSE: All right, then. I'll go to the police. I'll tell everyone. You said, if I did that, I'd get people killed. So, your choice. Tell me, or I'll start talking.  
DOCTOR: Is that supposed to sound tough?  
ROSE: Sort of.  
DOCTOR: Doesn't work.  
ROSE: Who are you?  
DOCTOR: Told you. The Doctor.  
ROSE: Yeah, but Doctor what?  
DOCTOR: Just the Doctor.  
ROSE: The Doctor.  
DOCTOR: Hello!  
ROSE: Is that supposed to sound impressive?  
DOCTOR: Sort of.  
ROSE: Come on, then. You can tell me. I've seen enough. Are you the police?  
DOCTOR: No, I was just passing through. I'm a long way from home.  
ROSE: But what have I done wrong? How comes those plastic things keep coming after me?  
DOCTOR: Oh, suddenly the entire world revolves around you. You were just an accident. You got in the way, that's all.

"Oi! Rosie, isn't an accident!" defended Jack. He and Rose had developed a sort of brother/sister relationship, over their travels.

ROSE: It tried to kill me.  
DOCTOR: It was after me, not you. Last night, in the shop, I was there, you blundered in, almost ruined the whole thing. This morning, I was tracking it down, it was tracking me down. The only reason it fixed on you is 'cos you've met me.  
ROSE: So what you're saying is, the entire world revolves around you.  
DOCTOR: Sort of, yeah.  
ROSE: You're full of it.  
DOCTOR: Sort of, yeah.  
ROSE: But, all this plastic stuff. Who else knows about it?  
DOCTOR: No one.  
ROSE: What, you're on your own?  
DOCTOR: Well, who else is there? I mean, you lot, all you do is eat chips, go to bed, and watch telly, while all the time, underneath you, there's a war going on.  
ROSE: Okay. Start from the beginning. I mean, if we're going to go with the living plastic, and I don't even believe that, but if we do, how did you kill it?  
DOCTOR: The thing controlling it projects life into the arm. I cut off the signal, dead.  
ROSE: So that's radio control?  
DOCTOR: Thought control. Are you all right?  
ROSE: Yeah. So, who's controlling it, then?  
DOCTOR: Long story.  
ROSE: But what's it all for? I mean, shop window dummies, what's that about? Is someone trying to take over Britain's shops?  
DOCTOR: No.  
ROSE: No.  
DOCTOR: It's not a price war. They want to overthrow the human race and destroy you. Do you believe me?  
ROSE: No.  
DOCTOR: But you're still listening.  
ROSE: Really, though, Doctor. Tell me, who are you?

"_I'm in bloody love with you Rose! I can't stand not calling you my wife, every day, every second. Marry me?" The Tenth Doctor had gotten down on one knee and proposed to her. Rose whipped tears away from her eyes. _

"_Of course, Doctor! Yes, of course!" She flung herself into his arms. He laughed, slipping on a moon-rock ring to her finger. She was joyful, smiling at everyone. River stood._

"_I suppose now is a good of time as any…I'm River Song, your daughter. Future-Rose would be here, but she's nursing Jackelyn, my baby sister." _

Rose shook herself from her fantasy…as much as she played it cool, she fell more and more for her Doctor every day…as much as she traveled to the distant planets, and saved worlds, she was still a female human, and still had human-y feelings.

DOCTOR: Do you know like we were saying about the Earth revolving? It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go. That's who I am. Now, forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home.

"Oops. I didn't listen." Laughed Rose, grinning, trying to push her day dreams to the back of her mind.

"Glad you didn't." Ten smiled cheekily.

(The Doctor walks off towards the Tardis with the arm. Rose walks off towards another block of flats when there is a rush of air and a strange noise. She turns and runs back, and the Tardis has gone.)

**[Mickey's flat]**

MICKEY: Hey, hey, here's my woman. Kit off!  
ROSE: Shut up.  
(They kiss.)  
MICKEY: Coffee?  
ROSE: Yeah, only if you wash the mug. And I don't mean rinse, I mean wash. Can I use your computer?  
MICKEY: Yeah. Any excuse to get in the bedroom.

"Oh, he's lovely, he is." Said Amy, rolling her eyes.

Don't read my emails!

"Why not?" asked Jack, waggling his eyebrows to suggest something.

"I've got no clue." Replied Rose, wondering.

(Rose uses to hunt for Doctor, 17,700,000 results. Doctor Living Plastic

Eleven snorted at that search

55,300 results. Doctor Blue Box 493 results. The top one says - Doctor Who? ...do you know this man contact Clive here. She clicks on the site and there is a fuzzy picture of the Doctor.)

"I'm glad I destroyed all record of me, that was much too easy." Said Ten, gratefully.

"You deleted yourself? How?" asked Rory, and before Ten could reply, Sexy left another note.

_As our dear Profesor would say, Spoilers! You'll see everything soon, and I'll set a rule. No future's can tell anyone from the past what will happened, and no one from the past can speak of what is to come, got me? Good. –Sexy_

Jack read it aloud, as it had became his job, in a way. He just thought it was because he was most fitted to the name of 'Sexy' while the others just liked hearing his American accent speak the words. And they didn't want to read, as they were taking a break from saving worlds.

**[Clive's street] **

(Mickey drives Rose there in his yellow VW beetle.)  
ROSE: You're not coming in. He's safe. He's got a wife and kids.  
MICKEY: Yeah, who told you that? He did. That's exactly what an internet lunatic murderer would say.

"As much as I hate to say it, Rose, Mickey The Idiot has a point. You shouldn't be meeting strange people, who're associating with me over the internet." Said Ten, worried, and feeling the need to tell her this.

"Doctor, I know, I was excited, Okay?" He nodded, and Amy and Rory exchanged a look, wanting to know Ten's and Rose's relationship.

(One of Clive's neighbours puts out his black wheelie bin and gives Mickey a nasty look. Rose knocks on a door across the street. A boy opens it.)  
ROSE: Hello, I've come to see Clive? We've been emailing.  
BOY: Dad! It's one of your nutters!

"That little git…" murmured Jack, protectively, While all the companions and Eleven laughed slightly.

(A couch potato comes to the door.)  
CLIVE: Oh, sorry. Hello. You must be Rose. I'm Clive, obviously.  
ROSE: I'd better tell you now. My boyfriend's waiting in the car, just in case you're going to kill me.  
CLIVE: No, good point. No murders.  
(Clive waves at Mickey.)  
CAROLINE [OC]: Who is it?  
CLIVE: Oh, it's something to do with the Doctor. She's been reading the website. Please, come through. I'm in the shed.  
CAROLINE: She? She's read a website about the Doctor? She's a she?

Everyone got a good laugh out of that.

**[Clive's shed]**

CLIVE: A lot of this stuff's quite sensitive. I couldn't just send it to you. People might intercept it, if you know what I mean. If you dig deep enough and keep a lively mind, this Doctor keeps cropping up all over the place. Political diaries, conspiracy theories, even ghost stories. No first name, no last name, just the Doctor. Always The Doctor. And the title seems to have been passed down from father to son. It appears to be an inheritance. That's your Doctor there, isn't it?  
ROSE: Yeah.  
CLIVE: I tracked it down to the Washington public archive just last year. The online photo's enhanced, but if we look at the original  
(The original is a picture of Kennedy's cortege going through Dallas. The Doctor is just one face in the crowd.)  
CLIVE: November the 22nd, 1963. The assassination of President Kennedy. You see?  
ROSE: It must be his father.  
CLIVE: Going further back. April 1912. This is a photo of the Daniels family of Southampton, and friend. This was taken the day before they were due to sail off for the New World on the Titanic, and for some unknown reason, they cancelled the trip and survived.

"Doctor!" groaned River, addressing her Doctor, Eleven. He was always bad at not saving people. He grinned sheepishly, and so did Ten.

And here we are. 1883. Another Doctor. (a sketch) And look, the same lineage. It's identical. This one washed up on the coast of Sumatra on the very day Krakatoa exploded. The Doctor is a legend woven throughout history. When disaster comes, he's there. He brings the storm in his wake and he has one constant companion.  
ROSE: Who's that?  
CLIVE: Death.

"Lovely bloke he is." Said Rory, getting Rose to giggle, and Amy to roll her eyes, and grab his hand.

(Out in the street, the wheelie bin moves closer to Mickey's car.)  
CLIVE: If the Doctor's back, if you've seen him, Rose, then one thing's for certain. We're all in danger.

**[Clive's Street]**

(Mickey watches the bin move and gets out of his car. He goes to the bin and lifts up the lid.)  
MICKEY: Come on, then.

**[Clive's shed]**

CLIVE: If he's singled you out, if the Doctor's making house calls, then God help you.  
(Mickey shuts the bin lid and finds he is stuck to the plastic. It stretches as he pulls at it, then the bin growls, flexes, snaps and finally whips Mickey inside itself. Burp.)

"What the hell? Did he die?!" asked Amy, clearly surprised at the unexpected twist in Rose's life.

ROSE: But who is he? Who do you think he is?  
CLIVE: I think he's the same man. I think he's immortal. I think he's an alien from another world.

"Er…that's actually pretty much right, escept the Immortal thing. Though he was pretty close." Laughed Rose, realizing how correct Clive was.

"Wonder how he's doing, now a days. Doctor, can we visit 'em?" Rose asked, batting her eyes.

"Sure, Rose."

**[Clive's street]**

(Rose returns to the car. Mickey is sitting behind the steering wheel.)  
ROSE: All right, he's a nutter. Off his head. Complete online conspiracy freak. You win! What are we going to do tonight? I fancy a pizza.  
(But this Mickey is obviously plastic.)  
MICKEY: Pizza! P-p-p-pizza!  
ROSE: Or Chinese.  
MICKEY: Pizza!  
(Plastic Mickey weaves off down the road.)

"You didn't notice?"

"You're that thick?"

"He's _obviously_ plastic!"

"Oh, Rose!"

"Really Rosie?"

Rose held up her hands at the wave of comments, that had come in surprise at her obliviousness.

"Sorry, sorry! I know, I was oblivious." She gave a half smile, and returned to the television, ignoring the mutters.

**[Pizza restaurant]**

(Rose is still oblivious to the fact that Mickey has shiny skin and a fixed grin on his face.)  
ROSE: Do you think I should try the hospital? Suki said they had a job going in the canteen. Is that it then, dishing out chips.

The two Doctors and Rose snickered at that, rembereing the time she _had _ended up serving chips. I could do A Levels. I don't know. It's all Jimmy Stone's fault. I only left school because of him. Look where he ended up. What do you think?  
MICKEY: So, where did you meet this Doctor?  
ROSE: I'm sorry, wasn't I talking about me for a second?

"Ooh, feisty." Chided Jack, and receiving a pillow to the face.

MICKEY: Because I reckon it started back at the shop, am I right? Was he something to do with that?  
ROSE: No.  
MICKEY: Come on.  
ROSE: Sort of.  
MICKEY: What was he doing there?  
ROSE: I'm not going on about it, Mickey. Really, I'm not, because, I know it sounds daft, but I don't think it's safe. I think he's dangerous.  
MICKEY: But you can trust me, sweetheart. Babe, (deep) sugar, babe, sugar.

"Creeepy!" said Amy, her accent making the over-enunciation sound funny to those who weren't used to her accent.

You can tell me anything. Tell me about the Doctor and what he's planning, and I can help you, Rose. Because that's all I really want to do, sweetheart, babe, babe, sugar, sweetheart.  
ROSE: What're you doing that for?  
WAITER: Your champagne.  
MICKEY: We didn't order any champagne. Where's the Doctor?  
WAITER: Madam, your champagne.  
ROSE: It's not ours. Mickey, what is it? What's wrong?  
MICKEY: I need to find out how much you know, so where is he?  
WAITER: Doesn't anybody want this champagne?

"That voice…" said a wondering Rory.

MICKEY: Look, we didn't order it.  
(Plastic Mickey finally looks up to see that the waiter is the Doctor.)

Everyone laughed at the Doctor in that situation.

MICKEY: Ah. Gotcha.  
(The Doctor starts shaking the bottle vigorously.)  
DOCTOR: Don't mind me. I'm just toasting the happy couple. On the house!  
(The Doctor releases the cage around the cork and it flies into Plastic Mickey's forehead. After a few moments, he spits it out.)

"Brilliant!" Said an astonished Rory.

MICKEY: Anyway.  
(Plastic Mickey gets up and turns his hand into a chopper. Rose flees, screaming,

"Wasn't that brave then, was I?" asked a blushing Rose. Ten squeezed her hand.

as Mickey wrecks the table. The Doctor grabs the Auton and pull off its head. The rest of the customers scream.)  
MICKEY: Don't think that's going to stop me.  
(The body gets up and starts flailing around. Rose sets off the fire alarm.)  
ROSE: Everyone out! Out now! Get out! Get out! Get out!

"Smart move." Approved River song, sending Rose an approving glance.

(Rose and the Doctor run through the kitchens carrying the head, while the body wrecks the restaurant before following them to the back exit.)

**[Outside the restaurant]**

(The Doctor seals the exit shut while Rose runs down the alley, past the Tardis. The end is secured by padlocked gates.)  
ROSE: Open the gate! Use that tube thing. Come on!

"Tube thing." Scoffed Eleven.

DOCTOR: Sonic screwdriver.  
ROSE: Use it!  
DOCTOR: Nah. Tell you what, let's go in here.  
(The Doctor unlocks the Tardis and goes inside while the Auton hammers on the metal door, making large dents.)  
ROSE: You can't hide inside a wooden box. It's going to get us! Doctor!  
(Rose tries the gate again then runs inside the Tardis. She stops, takes one look and runs outside again. A siren is wailing in the distance. She runs around the Tardis then when the Auton finally smashes through the metal door, she makes up her mind.)

**[Tardis]**

ROSE: It's going to follow us!  
DOCTOR: The assembled hoards of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and believe me, they've tried. Now, shut up a minute.

"You're not nearly as rude now." Commented Rory, to the Doctor.

"Regeneration. Nasty business. Still me-" Started Eleven.

"But completely different person." Finished Ten. The Doctor's shared a glance.

(There has been another redesign. It is still mostly open plan, but the time console is more central and the walls are slightly curved. What were once roundels are now brass coloured hexagons. Don't like it.)  
DOCTOR: You see, the arm was too simple, but the head's perfect. I can use it to trace the signal back to the original source. Right. Where do you want to start?  
ROSE: Er, the inside's bigger than the outside?  
DOCTOR: Yes.  
ROSE: It's alien.  
DOCTOR: Yeah.  
ROSE: Are you alien?  
DOCTOR: Yes. Is that all right?  
ROSE: Yeah.  
DOCTOR: It's called the Tardis, this thing. S. That's Time And Relative Dimension In Space.  
(Rose bursts into tears.)

Rose became beet-red at that moment, and everyone politely didn't stare at her, and continued to watch.

DOCTOR: That's okay. Culture shock. Happens to the best of us.  
ROSE: Did they kill him? Mickey? Did they kill Mickey? Is he dead?  
DOCTOR: Oh. I didn't think of that.  
ROSE: He's my boyfriend. You pulled off his head. They copied him and you didn't even think? And now you're just going to let him melt?  
DOCTOR: Melt?  
(The plastic head is melting on the console, where it is attached by cables.)  
DOCTOR: Oh, no, no, no, no, no!  
(The Doctor sets the Tardis in motion.)  
ROSE: What're you doing?  
DOCTOR: Following the signal. It's fading. Wait a minute, I've got it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Almost there. Almost there. Here we go!  
(The Tardis lands and the Doctor runs for the door.)  
ROSE: You can't go out there. It's not safe.

**[Westminster]**

(Nighttime on the north back of the Thames next to the RAF monument.)  
DOCTOR: I lost the signal, I got so close.  
ROSE: We've moved. Does it fly?  
DOCTOR: Disappears there and reappears here. You wouldn't understand.  
ROSE: If we're somewhere else, what about that headless thing? It's still on the loose.  
DOCTOR: It melted with the head. Are you going to witter on all night?  
ROSE: I'll have to tell his mother. Mickey. I'll have to tell his mother he's dead, and you just went and forgot him, again! You were right, you are alien.  
DOCTOR: Look, if I did forget some kid called Mickey  
ROSE: Yeah, he's not a kid.  
DOCTOR: It's because I'm trying to save the life of every stupid ape blundering on top of this planet, all right?

"Stupid ape?" asked Amy, testily.

"Er…extremely smart descendents of Apes?" tried the Eleventh Doctor to receive a huff.

ROSE: All right.  
DOCTOR: Yes, it is!  
ROSE: If you are an alien, how comes you sound like you're from the North?  
DOCTOR: Lots of planets have a north.  
ROSE: What's a police public call box?  
DOCTOR: It's a telephone box from the 1950s. It's a disguise.  
ROSE: Okay. And this, this living plastic. What's it got against us?  
DOCTOR: Nothing. It loves you. You've got such a good planet. Lots of smoke and oil, plenty of toxins and dioxins in the air, perfect. Just what the Nestene Consciousness needs. It's food stock was destroyed in the war, all its protein plants rotted, so Earth, dinner!  
ROSE: Any way of stopping it?  
(The Doctor holds up a tube of blue liquid.)  
DOCTOR: Anti-plastic.  
ROSE: Anti-plastic.

"Anti-plastic?"

"Anti-Plastic."

Anti-plastic."

"Enough of the Anti-plastic!" cried out River.

DOCTOR: Anti-plastic. But first I've got to find it. How can you hide something that big in a city this small?  
ROSE: Hold on. Hide what?  
DOCTOR: The transmitter. The Consciousness is controlling every single piece of plastic, so it needs a transmitter to boost the signal.  
ROSE: What's it look like?  
DOCTOR: Like a transmitter. Round and massive, slap bang in the middle of London.  
DOCTOR: A huge circular metal structure like a dish, like a wheel. Radial. Close to where we're standing. Must be completely invisible. What? What?  
(The Doctor turns and looks at what Rose is staring at on the south bank but the penny doesn't drop.)  
DOCTOR: What? What is it? What?  
(He finally catches on to what Rose is looking at. It's call the London Eye, it's on the south bank of the Thames and it is the biggest Wheel in the world - so far.)  
DOCTOR: Oh. Fantastic!

"You're as oblivious as Rosie." Sighed Jack.

**[South bank]**

(The Doctor and Rose run across Westminster Bridge.)  
DOCTOR: Think of it, plastic all over the world, every artificial thing waiting to come alive. The shop window dummies, the phones, the wires, the cables  
ROSE: The breast implants.

The small group laughed for awhile at that one, with Rose miming her breasts jumping off her chest and expanding, throwing everyone into more laughter.

DOCTOR: Still, we've found the transmitter. The Consciousness must be somewhere underneath.  
ROSE: What about down here?  
(Rose looks over the parapet and sees a large manhole entrance at the bottom of some steps.)  
DOCTOR: Looks good to me.  
(They run down and the Doctor opens up the hatch. There is red light inside.)

**[Nestene chamber]**

(They climb down a short ladder into a brick-built area with lots of chains. From there they go through a door and down a flight of steps into a multi-level chamber.)  
DOCTOR: The Nestene Consciousness. That's it, inside the vat. A living plastic creature.  
ROSE: Well, then. Tip in your anti-plastic and let's go.  
DOCTOR: I'm not here to kill it. I've got to give it a chance.  
(He goes down to a catwalk overlooking the seething vat.)  
DOCTOR: I seek audience with the Nestene Consciousness under peaceful contract according to convention 15 of the Shadow Proclamation.  
(The stuff in the vat flexes.)  
DOCTOR: Thank you. If I might have permission to approach?  
(Rose spots someone on a lower level and runs down.)  
ROSE: Oh, God! Mickey, it's me! It's okay. It's all right.  
MICKEY: That thing down there, the liquid. Rose, it can talk!  
ROSE: You're stinking. Doctor, they kept him alive.  
DOCTOR: Yeah, that was always a possibility. Keep him alive to maintain the copy.  
ROSE: You knew that and you never said?

"Hopes." Said Ten, simply.

DOCTOR: Can we keep the domestics outside, thank you?  
(The Doctor continues downwards.)  
DOCTOR: Am I addressing the Consciousness? Thank you. If I might observe, you infiltrated this civilisation by means of warp shunt technology. So, may I suggest, with the greatest respect, that you shunt off?  
(A sort of face forms in the vat of plastic.)  
DOCTOR: Oh, don't give me that. It's an invasion, plain and simple. Don't talk about constitutional rights. I am talking! This planet is just starting. These stupid little people have only just learnt how to walk, but they're capable of so much more. I'm asking you on their behalf. Please, just go.  
ROSE: Doctor!  
(A pair of shop dummies grab the Doctor. One takes the vial of anti-plastic from his pocket.)  
DOCTOR: That was just insurance. I wasn't going to use it. I was not attacking you. I'm here to help. I'm not your enemy. I swear, I'm not. What do you mean?  
(A door slides back to reveal the Tardis.)  
DOCTOR: No. Oh, no. Honestly, no. Yes, that's my ship. That's not true. I should know, I was there. I fought in the war. It wasn't my fault. I couldn't save your world! I couldn't save any of them!  
ROSE: What's it doing?!  
DOCTOR: It's the Tardis! The Nestene's identified its superior technology. It's terrified. It's going to the final phase. It's starting the invasion! Get out, Rose! Just leg it now!  
(As the plastic in the vat keeps roaring, Rose phones her mother.)  
ROSE: Mum?

**[Outside a police station]**

JACKIE: Oh, there you are. I was just going to phone. You can get compensation. I said so. I've got this document thing off the police. Don't thank me.

"She's really into the whole compensation thing." Said Rory.

**[Nestene chamber]**

ROSE: Where are you, mum?

**[Outside Queens Arcade]**

JACKIE: I'm in town.

**[Nestene chamber]**

ROSE: No, go home! Just go home right now!

**[Outside Queens Arcade]**

JACKIE: Darling, you're breaking up. Listen, I'm just going to do a bit of late night shopping. I'll see you later. Ta-ra!

"Oh no."

**[Nestene chamber]**

ROSE: Mum! Mum!  
(Jackie goes into Queens Arcade, which contains the Underground station entrance.  
The Conciousness starts throwing energy bolts around.)  
DOCTOR: It's the activation signal. It's transmitting!  
(The Eye lights up with energy.)  
ROSE: It's the end of the world.

**[Queens Arcade]**

CLIVE: There's no point creating a spreadsheet if you're going to spend summer money in winter months.  
(A shop dummy moves.)  
CAROLINE: Oh, my God! I thought they were dummies. I nearly had a heart-attack.  
(Everyone stops to watch the show in all the store windows until one dummy smashes the glass and comes out. Jackie is coming down the escalator.)  
CLIVE: It's true. Everything I read, all the stories. It's all true.  
(An Auton's fingers drop and it shoots Clive.)

"No!" shouted Rose. She hated that good 'ol Clive had died. She squeezed Ten's hand tighter.

**[Nestene chamber]**

(The plastic in the vat is getting extremely agitated.)  
DOCTOR: Get out, Rose! Just get out! Run!  
ROSE: The stairs have gone.  
(The Autons try to push the Doctor into the vat. Rose and Mickey run to the Tardis.)  
ROSE: I haven't got the key!  
MICKEY: We're going to die!  
(Rose looks around for other possibilities.(  
Back at the shopping centre, Autons start coming down the escalator, shooting at anyone. Jackie finally screams, throws away her plastic bag and runs. But outside the Arcade is just as dangerous. The Autons shoot a passing taxi driver. She hides behind the crashed vehicle, then three brides smash their way out of the shop behind her.)  
DOCTOR: No!  
NESTENE: Time Lord.  
(Rose stands up and looks at the Doctor, then runs round the chamber.)  
MICKEY: Just leave him! There's nothing you can do!

"Bloody bast-" began Amy, to have her mouth covered by Eleven's hand. He grinned cheekily at everyone's looks.  
ROSE: I've got no A Levels, no job, no future.  
(She grabs an axe as the three brides prepare to shoot Jackie.)  
ROSE: But I tell you what I have got. Jericho Street Junior School under 7s gymnastic team. I've got the bronze!  
(Rose chops through the rope holding a very long chain to the wall and takes firm hold. She runs and swings out along the side of the catwalk, kicking the two Autons into the vat. The second one also drops the vial of anti-plastic into it. The golden Nestene screams as it starts to turn blue.)

"Go Rose!" shouted everyone.

DOCTOR: Rose!  
(The Doctor grabs her as she swings back.)  
DOCTOR: Now we're in trouble.  
(Explosions start and the signals from the Eye stop. The shop dummies start to stagger then fall over. The Doctor and Rose run to the Tardis, where Mickey is holding on for dear life, and they all go inside. The Tardis dematerialises.)

**[Outside Queens Arcade]**

(The Tardis materialises on the Embankment by a row of shuttered kiosks and Mickey runs out, terrified. Jackie answers her mobile phone.)  
JACKIE: Rose, Rose, don't go out of the house.

**[Embankment]**

JACKIE [OC]: It's not safe. There were these things, and they were shooting! And they

A few snorted at that .

**[Outside Queens Arcade]**

JACKIE: Hello? Hello?

**[Embankment]**

(Rose goes over to Mickey, who is trying to hide behind a pallet.

"Idiot." Muttered Amy.

The Doctor stays in the doorway of the Tardis.)  
ROSE: A fat lot of good you were.  
DOCTOR: Nestene Consciousness? Easy.  
ROSE: You were useless in there. You'd be dead if it wasn't for me.  
DOCTOR: Yes, I would. Thank you. Right then, I'll be off, unless, er, I don't know, you could come with me. This box isn't just a London hopper, you know. It goes anywhere in the universe free of charge.  
MICKEY: Don't. He's an alien. He's a thing.  
DOCTOR: He's not invited. What do you think? You could stay here, fill your life with work and food and sleep, or you could go anywhere.  
ROSE: Is it always this dangerous?  
DOCTOR: Yeah.  
ROSE: Yeah, I can't. I've er, I've got to go and find my mum and someone's got to look after this stupid lump, so.  
DOCTOR: Okay. See you around.  
(The Tardis dematerialises.)  
ROSE: Come on, let's go. Come on. Come on.  
(The Tardis materialises.)  
DOCTOR: By the way, did I mention it also travels in time?  
ROSE: Thanks.  
MICKEY: Thanks for what?  
ROSE: Exactly.  
(Rose kisses Mickey on the cheek and runs into the Tardis.)

"Whoa."

**There it is! Once again, sorry for the few day's late update! BUT, next chapter will be a few pages long of a filler chapter, until school gets under control! Love you always, and Reviews are loved, and given a cookie, but aren't forced. ;D**

**-The-Ood-Must-Feed.**


	3. Ask Sexy

**Thanks again for all the reviews, views, favorites and alerts :D Everytime I see one I do a happy dance, then go fangirl… xP Anyways, I apologize for this being..what Thirteen days instead of Seven since the last update! Mind, If this is rubbish, I can't see as I have a horrible headache… Excuses Excuses! ON WITH THE SHOW!**

* * *

"Whoa." Said multiple people at the ending of the episode. A few people looked a Rose strangely, almost as if upset for leaving Mickey like that, but Amy was smiling at her, as was Ten, who had hugged her hand with his own at the end.

The television lit up again, and there was a note. Everyone looked at Jack as he read it aloud.

'_So, that's the first episode, entitled 'Rose' for obvious reasons. Now, as I promised, everyone in here may ask me a question, and I will do my best to answer it. _

_-Sexy_

"Er...Um, okay. Sexy, why are we all here?" asked Rory hesitantly. A face came on the screen, and it was a woman with incredibly frizzy brown hair, and large, wondering eyes. They looked nice on her, complimenting her pale skin.

"Why hello! I've always wanted to say that. 'Hello'. It's fun to say, yes? Oh, I'm Sexy! So you're all here to get to know The Doctor better, have some nice little mysteries unfold, hopefully prevent some things, and I was terribly bored and wanted to see what would happen." The strange British-sounding woman smiled cheerfully. The inhabitants of the flat-like space stared at her, astounded.

"Ok. Tell me, Sexy, who are you?" asked River, her hand instinctively twitching towards her gun holster on her belt.

"Ooh, who am I not? I'll say this…I'm famous throughout the galaxy, but under a much different name. I know all of you and care for each of your deeply. Especially The Doctors." She smiled mischievously, and River huffed in exasperation at the in-direct answer.

"Fine, you're not going to give us exact answers, that's fine. Tell me, since you apparently care about me deeply. How do you possess the power to control a paradox this large, with a past regeneration of myself, and Rose? Who shouldn't-" Eleven cut himself off, as to not alarm anyone, or bring back memories he kept repressed.

"I know you. I am, in a sense, a thousand times more powerful than you, Doctor. I can control this paradox easily. And since they're two of you here, my power has increased by a very large amount." Eleven looked confused at that.

"I mean, that's all any of us really wanted to know, yeah? What else is there to ask?" Amy questioned the room, her accent rolling over the vowels. A few people nodded in agreement.

"Oh! Wait, I have one, if it's ok." Said Rose, drawing attention to herself. She blushed slightly as everyone's eyes rested upon her.

"Go ahead, dear!" said Sexy, smiling, yet the large grin didn't reach her suddenly sullen eyes. Rose nodded.

"So, where and when are we? Linear I mean, for each of us, since we're from everywhere. And how deep in the universe are we?" Rose's lisp caught up slightly at the end, but other than that she maintained a confident tone throughout her question, in front of all the strangers.

"I always did like you Rose. Always asking the right questions. Now, we are, in fact, at the very edge of the universe, around a million light-years away from Clom. And let's see…Jack has just hired a new woman, Gwen Cooper, yes? Eleven and The Ponds…let's see you're right after..what? You just went to that hotel with the Gorilla? Doctor, you called it 'The God Complex'. Yes, and Ten and Rose, you've just come from Barcelona, but before that you were at the 2012 Olympics, yes? And I better not say where River is…Spoiler's and all."

Everyone nodded slowly, Eleven becoming saddened, remembering the last happy adventure he had had with Rose, and after this she would be gone. Again.

"Is that everyone's questions? No more? Brilliant! I suppose you should all go explore your rooms and sleep, as it was a tiring day when I got you all. Night! And Hello!" And with that the screen returned to the title screenshot of the Time Vortex. Everyone just stared at the television a bit longer.

* * *

**I truly am sorry for the updates being around a week and a half [instead of a week], but once I get school and everything all straightened out, I'll try for an update every five days! **

**QUESTION: Would you guys prefer me to write another story-like chapter with everyone seeing their room's or just have it mentioned in the next episode chapter? **

**Love you all more than Eleven loves his hats! Mwah!**

**Ooh- PS, If the spacing and everything's wonky, I'm still working out the kinks in my new Computer.. :D  
**

**-The-Ood-Must-Feed**


	4. Room Reactions

**Oh My Tardis! DOCTOR WHO TONIGGHHHTTTTTTTT! :D SO, in celebration, for the next six hours- I'mma writing! :D This will be a joint update! And thank you so much for all the reviews, favorites and alerts! I phoned up my best friend and screamed at her for almost fifteen minutes straight :D (Long, important AN at the bottom! :D)**

* * *

Everyone had stood there, staring at the television, where the strange women named 'Sexy' had just disappeared.

"That was…fascinating." And with that, everyone laughed, relieving the built up awkward tension.

"Let's all go see our rooms, wash up, and meet back in an hour or so, yeah?" asked Rose, addressing the group. She received nods in varying levels of enthusiasm, and they all turned to their rooms, walking and going in.

* * *

Amy and Rory opened the door to their room and she squealed in happiness, running to the large bed in the center of the even larger room. She jumped, and landed on the bed, rolling around like a child at a hotel. Rory laughed and ran in the same manner, landing next to his wife. She giggled, turning to face him, and he laughed, wrestling her beneath him. She grinned, and they wrestled for a long time, resulting in her straddling him, leaning down, kissing her husband. Her Rory. Amy's hair created a ginger colored curtain around them. They didn't bother looking around the lavender colored room, with Tardis blue accents, but if one were to stand outside, instead of hearing joyous cries of astonishment about the many features if the room, you would hear giggles and laughs and a lot of kissing noise.

* * *

River sighed happily as she dropped her gun belt into the chair resting by the door. She glanced around her custom room, and she had to admit, this Sexy knew her well. The walls were a deep cocoa colored brown, with Tardis blue accents. It was a fairly large room, she noted with satisfaction, crossing the carpeted floor to the bed, covered in plush blankets. She sat down upon it, looking around the room. There was a door; she assumed containing a bathroom, and a large dresser, which she again assumed was filled with clothes for her. She sighed, closing her eyes, and laying back. She _had _ had a long few days, (linear). She drifted into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Jack opened the door, and as he looked at the room in front of him, he threw back his head in laughter. The room itself was an ivory colour, but the walls were almost completely plastered with pin-up posters with aliens in various states of undress all around the room. There was an average sized bed in the far right corner of the room, with a table and lamp by it. There was an adjoining alcove where a clear shower, sink and toilet was. He laughed, and moved on to study the various posters.

* * *

Rose and Ten entered their room, blushing madly, still holding hands. Ten pushed open the door, and they entered, the door sliding shut behind them. They looked around the room in surprise, as it was very pretty. It had mahogany floors and Tardis Blue walls, with silver accents. There was a large bed in the middle of the room, and no couch. They would have to sleep together. The couple walked to the other end of the room, with hands still intertwined. They passed the walk in closet (which Rose had grinned madly at, giggling slightly) and the book case with multiple books. (which the Doctor had grinned at) and into the large bathroom, where there was a clear shower, which both of them had turned a deep, dark shade of red that and a small alcove to the toilet, and across from that, the sink. They had turned around, and walked to the main section of the room, laying on the bed, cuddling, Rose reading the last Harry Potter aloud, and Ten commenting constantly.

* * *

**Episode chapter coming tomorrow! :D And I wanted to clear some things up:**

**I had stated accidently that Eleven and Co. were after the Doctor's Wife. They would already know about Sexy, so I'm changing them to right after the Black Spot :D **

**-The-Ood-Must-Feed**


	5. The End of The World

**Thanks so much for all the reviews, favorites and alerts :D Love you all! I've done many a happy dance at them all! I try to make it a thing where I personally PM every one of my reviewers to say thanks :D Speaking of which, (No, not really related!) I forgot to do Eleven's reaction, as I typed up the previous chapter rather quickly, and I put in something in this one :D Still Using Chrissie's Transcripts and this is episode "End Of The World" ^,^ And I'm really sorry for the two-week wait, school's been horrid. Science Fair, Guitar Class, Math exams, the works. Oh, and my computer had to be sent in for a week… But here it is! **

* * *

An hour or so later Amy made rounds, knocking on doors, retrieving everyone from their rooms. She found a slightly disheveled, sweaty Jack, who gave her a wink and rushed out to the common room.

A groggy River who murmured a few curses under her breath, as she hadn't slept for quite awhile, and seemed quite unhappy about being awoken.

two content room Five bunkers, who were laughing, holding a large book. They gave her a smile which the ginger returned, and they strolled out of the room, finally letting go of each other, though still remaining close to one another.

Then there was Eleven. She had no response when she knocked on the door, and when she opened the door, she found him, deeply asleep on a couch right inside the door. She smiled, and crossed the room to the single bed, taking a pillow and pelting it at the Doctor, who yelled in surprise, falling off the couch.

"Thanks a lot, Pond." He grumbled as he was ushered out of the room into where everyone else was waiting. Amy sat on Rory. The Television lit up.

* * *

**[Tardis]**

**(Carrying straight on from the last episode. The Doctor and Rose are lit in green light from the time rotor.)  
DOCTOR: Right then, Rose Tyler, you tell me. Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It's your choice. What's it going to be?  
ROSE: Forwards.  
DOCTOR: How far?  
ROSE: One hundred years. **

"Pssh." Smirked Jack. Rose chose to ignore his comment.

**(A few seconds of travel.)  
DOCTOR: There you go. Step outside those doors, it's the twenty second century.  
ROSE: You're kidding.  
DOCTOR: That's a bit boring, though. Do you want to go further? **

"Did you _really _just ask that question, Doctor?" Asked Amy, addressing Ten for the first time. He looked surprised for a moment, but then just gave her his trademark grin.

**ROSE: Fine by me.  
DOCTOR: Ten thousand years in the future. Step outside, it's the year 12005, the new Roman Empire.  
ROSE: You think you're so impressive.  
DOCTOR: I am so impressive. **

"_that's _ a matter of opinion, dearest Doctor." Said Rose, smirking at Ten, the Eleven. Ten laughed at that, quipping back a retort, but the others focused on Eleven, who looked pained at being addressed by the blonde woman.

**ROSE: You wish.  
DOCTOR: Right then, you asked for it. I know exactly where to go. Hold on!  
(The Tardis zooms down a time vortex.)  
ROSE: Where are we? What's out there? **

**[Gallery 15]**

**(Rose goes down a flight of steps and a large shutter in the wall descends to reveal an orbital view of the Earth.) **

"Why've we never gone there? That's beautiful." Commented Amy absently.

**DOCTOR: You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs* or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive. This is the year five point five slash apple slash twenty six.**

A few people laughed at the funny name for a year.

**Five billion years in your future, and this is the day  
(He looks at his wrist watch.)  
DOCTOR: Hold on.  
(The sun flares and turns red.)  
DOCTOR: This is the day the Sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world. **

"Have you _always_ been so dramatic?" asked Jack, curiously, addressing both doctors.

"Of course not." Said Eleven, feigning hurt, as the same time that Ten said

"Yes, of course." Jack raised his eyebrows at that, no doubt playing out interesting scenes in his mind, most likely involving the Doctors.

**[Space]**

**(A pair of small spaceships approach a large cruciform space station hanging in Earth orbit.)  
COMPUTER: Shuttles five and six now docking. Guests are reminded that Platform One forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion. Earth Death is scheduled for fifteen thirty nine **

**[Platform One]**

**COMPUTER: Followed by drinks in the Manchester Suite.  
(The Doctor and Rose walk along a corridor.)  
ROSE: So, when it says guests, does that mean people?  
DOCTOR: Depends what you mean by people.  
ROSE: I mean people. What do you mean?  
DOCTOR: Aliens.  
ROSE: What are they doing on board this spaceship? What's it all for?  
DOCTOR: It's not really a spaceship, more like an observation deck. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn. **

"Oh, now that's _lovely_." Said Amy, sarcasm dripping venomously oh off her words.

**(The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver on a wall panel.)  
ROSE: What for?  
DOCTOR: Fun. **

Amy's brow furrowed at that. As much as she enjoyed and loved going round with the Doctor, she never took happiness from deceased species, and especially not dying planets.

**[Observation gallery]**

**(A large area with a few display cases and a view of space to the front and above.)  
DOCTOR: Mind you, when I said the great and the good, what I mean is, the rich. **

"Ooh, Doc, they're not very great and good." Said Jack, staring pointedly at his nails which he was inspecting thoroughly. Neither Doctor responded, both looking intently at each other in silence until the television resumed.

**ROSE: But, hold on. They did this once on Newsround Extra. The sun expanding, that takes hundreds of years.  
DOCTOR: Millions, but the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there? Gravity satellites holding back the sun. **

"Where the hell did the get those satalites? Mesmeron?" questioned a surprised River. Who ad ever heard of such powerful Gravity Satellites?

"I'm actually not sure where they bought them. Maybe the Trust Fund had tem lying around." Suggested Eleven, shrugging.

**ROSE: The planet looks the same as ever. I thought the continents shifted and things.  
DOCTOR: They did, and the Trust shifted them back. That's a classic Earth. But now the money's run out, nature takes over.  
ROSE: How long's it got?  
DOCTOR: About half an hour and then the planet gets roasted. **

"Oh, that's lovely." Said Jack, turning his nose up slightly.

**ROSE: Is that why we're here? I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?  
**

"Um…pretty much."

"That's _all_ he does."

"That's his unofficial job."

"Was that even a question?" and more were heard reverberating around the room, causing Rose to turn a deep red color.

"In her defense, she _did _just meet Doc. You all asked something like that I'm sure." Said Jack defensively, taking on the older brother role. That's what his and Rose's relationship was. Sibling-like. With a bit of flirting. Sometimes.

**DOCTOR: I'm not saving it. Time's up. **

"What?!" was the collective response, even from Jack. Rose had even murmured it lowly, for no reason other than entertainment. The Doctors held up their hands in mock surrender.

**ROSE: But what about the people?  
DOCTOR: It's empty. They're all gone. No one left.  
ROSE: Just me, then. **

"Are you always this pessimistic?" asked a curious Rory. Rose smiled at that, shakin her head in a non-verbal 'no'.

**(A blue-skinned person with golden slit eyes strides towards them.)  
STEWARD: Who the hell are you? **

"He's as polite as you!" exclaimed Amy, slapping Eleven's shoulder as he yawned. He scrunched his face up at that, calculating her statement, which took longer than usual in his sleep-deprived state.

**DOCTOR: Oh, that's nice, thanks.  
STEWARD: But how did you get in? This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked. They're on their way any second now.  
DOCTOR: That's me. I'm a guest. Look, I've got an invitation. **

"Damned Psychic Paper. Hey Doc, do you have any more of those?" Asked Jack. Ten smirked.

"Even if I did, I wouldn't give it to you, Jack." Jack gasped in mock hurt, his hand flying to his chest like a woman from an old flick.

**Look. There, you see? It's fine, you see? The Doctor plus one. I'm the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler. She's my plus one. Is that all right?  
(The Doctor puts away the piece of apparently blank paper he was showing to the steward.)  
STEWARD: Well, obviously. Apologies, et cetera. **

"He seems a joy to have at parties." Put in River.

**If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy.  
(The Steward goes over to a lecturn.)  
DOCTOR: The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time.  
ROSE: He's blue.  
DOCTOR: Yeah.  
ROSE: Okay. **

That interaction elicited laughter from everyone.

**STEWARD: We have in attendance the Doctor and Rose Tyler. Thank you. All staff to their positions.  
(A lot of small people appear.)  
STEWARD: Hurry, now, thank you. Quick as we can. Come along, come along. And now, might I introduce the next honoured guest? Representing the Forest of Cheam, we have trees, namely, Jabe, Lute and Coffa. **

"Oh, I know Jabe! She's nice. Met once in a gay bar at the end of the universe; never saw her again.

"Why were you ate a gay bar, River?" Asked Rory.

"Oh, you know… I was bored." She answered, smirking and waving her and as if to wave off his question.

**(A bark-skinned woman enters with two larger male escorts.)  
STEWARD: There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace. If you could keep the room circulating, thank you. Next, from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco, we have the Moxx of Balhoon.  
(Another blue alien, this time mostly head and body, sitting on a transport pod.)  
STEWARD: And next, from Financial Family Seven, we have the Adherents of the Repeated Meme.  
(A group of black-robed bipeds.) **

"Wait… But isn't a meme just-" started Rory but was cut off by Eleven's hand over his mouth and a large 'Yup!' He didn't want to spoil his past adventure.

**STEWARD: The inventors of Hypo-slip Travel Systems, the brothers Hop Pyleen. Thank you.  
(Fur clad reptilians. The announcements of variations on the biped theme continue.)  
STEWARD: Cal Spark Plug. Mister and Mrs Pakoo. The Ambassadors from the City State of Binding Light.  
(The trees go up to the Doctor.)  
JABE: The Gift of Peace. I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather. **

"oh… How… pleasant." Said Amy weakly. A cutting of your granddad? To someone you didn't even _know_?

**(She gives the Doctor a rooted twig in a small pot.)  
DOCTOR Thank you. Yes, gifts. Er, I give you in return air from my lungs.  
(He breathes gently on Jabe.)  
JABE: How intimate. **

Jack and River snorted at that.

**DOCTOR: There's more where that came from.  
JABE: I bet there is. **

Jack had became a deep shade of red from refraining from laughter.

**STEWARD: From the Silver Devastation, the sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Boe.  
(A large glass case barely makes it through the doorway. It contains a giant humanoid head with straggly hair and squinting eyes.) **

"What. No. No bleeding way. THE FACE OF BOE?!" Asked Jack, looking mortified at the large face on the screen.

"Yeah. I always liked him. Why Jack?" asked Rose, concerned.

"No, nope. Nada, most positively not!" said Jack, running to his room, yelling negatives.

Rose looked up worriedly, and made to leave but Ten pulled her back down with his hand. She looked over at Eleven who looked halfway between amused and worried. It was a very interesting facial expression, causing her to smirk.

**DOCTOR: The Moxx of Balhoon.  
MOXX: My felicitations on this historical happenstance. I give you the gift of bodily salivas.  
(Moxx's spit hits Rose in the face.) **

Rose shuddered again at that, as the room was filled with laughter at her dismay.

**DOCTOR: Thank you very much.  
(The black-robed group glide up.)  
DOCTOR: Ah! The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. I bring you air from my lungs.  
(A large metal hand holds out a ball.)  
ADHERENT: A gift of peace in all good faith.  
STEWARD: And last but not least, our very special guest. Ladies and gentlemen, and trees and multiforms, consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth the last Human. The Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen.  
(A face in a piece of thin skin stretched in a rectangular frame is wheeled in by two men hidden in top-to-toe hospital whites. She is modelled on, and voiced by, ****Zoe Wanamaker****.) **

"What the hell is that?!" asked Amy, shouting in surprise at the thin stretch of skin. Rory and River shared an identical disgusted face, while Rose wore a small smile, and The Doctors remained slightly impassive.

**CASSANDRA: Oh, now, don't stare. I know, I know it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference. Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over two thousand. Moisturise me. Moisturise me. **

"What." Said Rory, completely dumb founded.

**(One of her attendants uses a pump spray on the skin.)  
CASSANDRA: Truly, I am the last Human. My father was a Texan, my mother was from the Arctic Desert. **

"Arctic… Desert? We don't have an Arctic Desert…" said Amy slowly. Rory shrugged, as did Rose, whpm Amy was looking at.

**They were born on the Earth and were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honour them and say goodbye. Oh, no tears, no tears. I'm sorry. But behold, I bring gifts. From Earth itself, the last remaining ostrich egg. Legend says it had a wingspan of fifty feet and blew fire from its nostrils. **

A few snorted at that.

**Or was that my third husband? **

That got more than a snort.

**Oh, no. Oh, don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines. And here, another rarity.  
(Rose has walked round the back of Cassandra to see just how thin she is, and a 50's juke box is wheeled in.)  
CASSANDRA: According to the archives, this was called an iPod.**

"Dear lord, who was the scribe who took all of this?" Asked Rory, clearly amused.

**It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!  
(One of the little attendants presses a button, a 45 is selected and the strains of Tainted Love by Soft Cell ring out.)  
STEWARD: Refreshments will now be served. Earth Death in thirty minutes. **

"Oh that's a lovely timer. 'Earth Death in blank minutes.' Sounds fantastic." Said Amy.

**(Rose finally can't take all the aliens, and runs out. The Doctor goes to follow her, but gets intercepted.) **

A few people looked sympathetic towards Rose. All those Aliens her first go around with the Doctor? They reacted like that, too.

**JABE: Doctor?  
(Flash! from a device she is holding. A type of camera, presumably.)  
JABE: Thank you.  
ADHERENT: A gift of peace in all good faith.  
STEWARD: No, you're very kind, but I'm just the Steward.  
ADHERENT: A gift of peace in all good faith.  
STEWARD: Well, yes, thank you. Of course.  
(The steward takes the proffered ball. Jabe consults her camera, which twitters like a bird.)  
JABE: Identify species. Please identify species. Now stop it. Identify his race. Where's he from? It's impossible.  
(She hurries away. One of the Adherant's gifts has been placed on a shelf in a display stand. It opens, and a four-legged metal spider scurries away.) **

**[Corridor]**

**(Rose has wandered off, and is looking at the growing Sun through a window when a young woman of the same race as the Steward comes round the corner. She is wearing overalls and a baseball cap.)  
ROSE: Sorry. Am I allowed to be in here?  
RAFFALO: You have to give us permission to talk. **

"What?!" asked a surprised Amy.

**ROSE: Er, you have permission.  
RAFFALO: Thank you. And, no, you're not in the way. Guests are allowed anywhere.  
ROSE: Okay.  
(Raffalo goes to a wall panel and unlocks it.)  
ROSE: What's your name?  
RAFFALO: Raffalo.  
ROSE: Raffalo?  
RAFFALO: Yes, miss. I won't be long, I've just got to carry out some maintenance. There's a tiny little glitch in the Face of Boe's **

At this Jack yelled painfully (A very frightening sound, almost reminiscent of a walrus being strangled by a dying feline.) from his placement, hovering near the back of the room. He apparently had come back a bit ago, just not prepared to sit and be questioned.

**suite. There must be something blocking the system. He's not getting any hot water.  
ROSE: So, you're a plumber?  
RAFFALO: That's right, miss.  
ROSE: They still have plumbers?  
RAFFALO: I hope so, else I'm out of a job. **

"I like her." River informed the group.

**ROSE: Where are you from?  
RAFFALO: Crespallion.  
ROSE: That's a planet, is it?  
RAFFALO: No. Crespallion's part of the Jaggit Brocade, affiliated to the Scarlet Junction, Convex fifty six. And where are you from, miss? If you don't mind me asking.  
ROSE: No, not at all. Er, I don't know. A long way away. I just sort of hitched a lift with this man. I didn't even think about it. I don't even know who he is. He's a complete stranger. Anyway, don't let me keep you. Good luck with it.  
RAFFALO: Thank you, miss. And er, thank you for the permission. Not many people are that considerate. **

"How rude." Huffed Eleven.

**ROSE: Okay. See you later.  
(Rose leaves. Raffalo removes the wall panel and has a look inside.)  
RAFFALO: Now then. Control, I'm at junction nineteen and I think the problem's coming from in here. I'll go inside and have a look.  
(Before she can crawil into the conduit, there is a tapping sound of metal on metal.)  
RAFFALO: What's that? Is something in there?  
(A metal spider comes towards her.)  
RAFFALO: Oh! Who are you, then?  
(It scuttles away.)  
RAFFALO: Hold on! I if you're an upgrade I just need to register you, that's all. Oh, come back.  
(She gets inside the conduit.)  
RAFFALO: Ah, there you are. Now, I just need to register your ident. Oh, there's two of you. Got yourself a little mate. I think I'd better report this to Control. How many of you are there? What are you? Oh, no, no, no!  
(Raffalo gets dragged along the conduit.) **

Rose looked sickened, her mouth covering her very audible gasp. She never realized that's what became of her first alien friend.

**[Steward's office]**

**(The Steward puts his gift on a side table and sits at his desk. The computer beeps and burbles at him.)  
STEWARD: What's that? Well, how should I know?  
(He makes a broadcast.)  
STEWARD: Would the owner of the blue box in private gallery fifteen please report to the Steward's office immediately. Guests are reminded that use of teleportation devices is strictly forbidden under Peace Treaty five point four slash cup slash sixteen. Thank you.  
(The ball hatches another metal spider.) **

"Oh boy." Said Rory quietly.

**[Space]**

**COMPUTER: Earth Death in twenty five minutes. **

**[Gallery 15]**

**(Rose is playing with the ball.)  
COMPUTER: Earth Death in twenty five minutes.  
ROSE: Oh, thanks.  
(She puts the ball down and picks up the plant pot.)  
ROSE: Hello. My name's Rose. That's a sort of plant. We might be related. I'm talking to a twig. **

Everyone, sans Rose and Jack laughed at that, but Rose cracked a smile.

**(The ball hatches.) **

**[Outside Gallery 15]**

**(The little assistants are wheeling the Tardis away.)  
DOCTOR: Oi, now, careful with that. Park it properly. No scratches.  
(One of them hands the Doctor a ticket. It says on one side - Have A Nice Day. A pair of spiders scuttle along the ceiling.) **

**[Gallery 15]**

**(The spider scans Rose's hand then scuttles away when the Doctor calls out.)  
DOCTOR [OC]: Rose? Are you in there?  
(The Doctor enters.)  
DOCTOR: Aye, aye. What do you think, then?  
ROSE: Great. Yeah, fine. Once you get past the slightly psychic paper. They're just so alien. The aliens are so alien. You look at 'em and they're alien.  
DOCTOR: Good thing I didn't take you to the Deep South. **

Rory snorted at that.

**ROSE: Where are you from?  
DOCTOR: All over the place.  
ROSE: They all speak English.  
DOCTOR: No, you just hear English. It's a gift of the Tardis. The telepathic field, gets inside your brain and translates.  
ROSE: It's inside my brain?  
DOCTOR: Well, in a good way.  
ROSE: Your machine gets inside my head. It gets inside and it changes my mind, and you didn't even ask?  
DOCTOR: I didn't think about it like that.  
ROSE: No, you were too busy thinking up cheap shots about the Deep South. Who are you, then, Doctor? What are you called? What sort of alien are you?  
DOCTOR: I'm just the Doctor.  
ROSE: From what planet?  
DOCTOR: Well, it's not as if you'll know where it is!  
ROSE: Where are you from?  
DOCTOR: What does it matter?  
ROSE: Tell me who you are!  
DOCTOR: This is who I am, right here, right now, all right? All that counts is here and now, and this is me.  
ROSE: Yeah, and I'm here too because you brought me here, so just tell me.  
COMPUTER: Earth Death in twenty minutes. Earth Death in twenty minutes.  
ROSE: All right. As my mate Shareen says, don't argue with the designated driver.  
(Rose takes out her mobile phone.)  
ROSE: Can't exactly call for a taxi. There's no signal. We're out of range. Just a bit.  
DOCTOR: Tell you what.  
(He takes her phone apart.)  
DOCTOR: With a little bit of jiggery pokery.  
ROSE: Is that a technical term, jiggery pokery?  
DOCTOR: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery. What about you?  
ROSE: No, I failed hullabaloo. **

A few people smiled at that.

**DOCTOR: Oh. There you go.  
(Rose phones home.)  
JACKIE [OC]: Hello?  
ROSE: Mum?  
JACKIE [OC]: Oh, what is it? **

**[The Tyler flat]**

**(Jackie is emptying the washing machine.)  
JACKIE: What's wrong? What have I done now? Oh, this red top's falling to bits. **

**[Gallery 15]**

**JACKIE [OC]: You should get your money back. Go on. **

**[The Tyler flat]**

**JACKIE: There must be something, you never phone in the middle of the day. **

**[Gallery 15]**

**JACKIE [OC]: What's so funny?  
ROSE:: Nothing. You all right, though? **

**[The Tyler flat]**

**JACKIE: Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? **

**[Gallery 15]**

**ROSE: What day is it? **

**[The Tyler flat]**

**JACKIE: Wednesday, all day. You got a hangover? **

"I swear, everyone phone conversation with that woman she asks if I have a hangover." Muttered Rose.

**[Gallery 15]**

**JACKIE: Oh, I tell you what. Put a quid in that Lottery syndicate. I'll pay you back later.  
ROSE: Yeah, er, I was just calling 'cos **

**[The Tyler flat]**

**ROSE [OC]: I might be late home.  
JACKIE: Is there something wrong? **

**[Gallery 15]**

**ROSE: No. I'm fine. Top of the world. **

"Is only she knew." Sighed Rose happily, slightly snuggling into Ten's side.

**(Jackie rings off.)  
DOCTOR: Think that's amazing, you want to see the bill.  
ROSE: That was five billion years ago. So, she's dead now. Five billion years later, my mum's dead.  
DOCTOR: Bundle of laughs, you are.  
(The space station shakes.)  
DOCTOR: That's not supposed to happen. **

**[Steward's office]**

**STEWARD: Well, what was it? I'm just getting green lights at this end.  
(He makes a calm broadcast.)  
STEWARD: Honoured guests may be reassured that gravity pockets may cause slight turbulence, thanking you.  
(He berates Control.)  
STEWARD: The whole place shook! I felt it. I've hosted all sorts of events on Platforms One, Three, Six and Fifteen and I've never felt the slightest tremor. I warn you, if this lot decide to sue. I'm going to scan the infrastructure.  
(He does so, then hears a scuttling sound.)  
STEWARD: What's that? Control, I don't want to worry you, but I'm picking up readings. I have no idea. Well, they're small. The scan says they're metal. I don't know what they look like!  
(Then he sees one on the desk.)  
STEWARD: Although I imagine they might look rather like that. You're not on the guest list. How did you get on board?  
(The spider pushes a button on his desk keyboard.)  
STEWARD: No.  
COMPUTER: Sun filter deactivated.  
STEWARD: No!  
COMPUTER: Sun filter descending.  
(The room starts to fill with white light from the ceiling downwards as the filter on the window lowers.)  
STEWARD: No! Sun filter, up! No, no, no!  
COMPUTER: External temperature four thousand degrees.  
STEWARD: Control, respond! Sun filter up! Argh!  
(The spider escapes through a small vent into the corridor.) **

Everyone stared in horror at the screen, a silent vow to try to stay silent to see the end of the show.

**[Observation gallery]**

**MOXX: Indubitably, this is the Bad Wolf scenario.**

"Bad-Wolf!" shouted Rose.

"Bad wo-darn." Said Ten. They had an ongoing game for whenever they heard or saw 'Bad Wolf' the first to call it out got a point, and every ten points they could pick where they went next. Rose was ahead by twelve points, and the Doctor wanted that win.

**I find the inherent laxity of the on-going multiverse  
(The Doctor and Rose enter.)  
DOCTOR: That wasn't a gravity pocket. I know gravity pockets and they don't feel like that. What do you think, Jabe? Listened to the engines. They've pitched up about thirty Hertz. That dodgy or what?  
JABE: It's the sound of metal. It doesn't make any sense to me.  
DOCTOR: Where's the engine room?  
JABE: I don't know, but the maintenance duct is just behind our guest suite, I could show you and your wife. **

Eleven smiled softly at that, and River's brows furrowed.

**DOCTOR: She's not my wife.  
JABE: Partner? **

"Yes." Called Jack from the back of the room. Rose and Ten laughed out of nervousness, River's eyes flared, Eleven looked wistfull and Amy and Rory where confused.

**DOCTOR: No.  
JABE: Concubine?  
DOCTOR: Nope.  
JABE: Prostitute? **

"OI!" said Jack at the same time as Ten, both feeling protective over Rose.

**ROSE: Whatever I am, it must be invisible. Do you mind? Tell you what, you two go and pollinate. I'm going to catch up with family. Quick word with Michael Jackson. **

Everyone got a good laugh out of that.

**(Rose goes to talk to Cassandra.)  
DOCTOR: Don't start a fight.  
(He offers Jabe his arm.)  
DOCTOR: I'm all yours.  
ROSE: And I want you home by midnight.  
COMPUTER: Earth Death in fifteen minutes. Earth Death in fifteen minutes. **

**[Maintenance duct]**

**(A multitude of spiders scuttle out of sight behind the swags of wiring and piping.)  
DOCTOR: Who's in charge of Platform One? Is there a Captain or what?  
JABE: There's just the Steward and the staff. **

"er, Just the staff then." Said Rory.

**All the rest is controlled by the metal mind.  
DOCTOR: You mean the computer? But who controls that?  
JABE: The Corporation. They move Platform One from one artistic event to another.  
DOCTOR: But there's no one from the Corporation on board.  
JABE: They're not needed. This facility is purely automatic. It's the height of the Alpha class. Nothing can go wrong.  
DOCTOR: Unsinkable?  
JABE: If you like. The nautical metaphor is appropriate.  
DOCTOR: You're telling me. I was on board another ship once. They said that was unsinkable. I ended up clinging to an iceberg.**

"Why am I not surprised?" muttered Amy.

**It wasn't half cold. So, what you're saying is, if we get in trouble there's no one to help us out?  
JABE: I'm afraid not.  
DOCTOR: Fantastic.  
JABE: I don't understand. In what way is that fantastic? **

**[Observation gallery]**

**CASSANDRA: Soon, the sun will blossom into a red giant, and my home will die. That's where I used to live, when I was a little boy, **

"What?!" exclaimed everyone but Rose.

**down there. Mummy and Daddy had a little house built into the side of the Los Angeles Crevice. I'd have such fun.  
ROSE: What happened to everyone else? The human race, where did it go?  
CASSANDRA: They say mankind has touched every star in the sky.  
ROSE: So, you're not the last human.  
CASSANDRA: I am the last pure human. The others mingled.  
CASSANDRA: Oh, they call themselves New humans and Proto-humans and Digi-humans, even 'Humanish, but you know what I call them? Mongrels.  
ROSE: Right. And you stayed behind.  
CASSANDRA: I kept myself pure.  
ROSE: How many operations have you had?  
CASSANDRA: Seven hundred and eight. Next week, it's seven hundred and nine. I'm having my blood bleached.**

"Ow…" said Eleven, rubbing his arm.

**Is that why you wanted a word? You could be flatter, Rose. You've got a little bit of a chin poking out.  
ROSE: I'd rather die.  
CASSANDRA: Honestly, it doesn't hurt.  
ROSE: No, I mean it. I would rather die. It's better to die than live like you, a bitchy trampoline. **

"Nice one Rosie!" Said Jack in between laughs.

**CASSANDRA: Oh, well. What do you know.  
ROSE: I was born on that planet, and so was my mum, and so was my dad, and that makes me officially the last human being in this room, 'cos you're not human. You've had it all nipped and tucked and flattened till there's nothing left. Anything human got chucked in the bin. You're just skin, Cassandra. Lipstick and skin. Nice talking.**

"Dang girl." Said Jack, pursing his lips, attempting to act like Rose's old friend Laurii. That only got everyone to laugh.

**(The Adherants watch Rose leave.) **

**[Maintenance duct]**

**DOCTOR: So tell me, Jabe, what's a tree like you doing in a place like this?  
JABE: Respect for the Earth.  
DOCTOR: Oh, come on. Everyone on this platform's worth zillions.  
JABE: Well, perhaps it's a case of having to be seen at the right occasions.  
DOCTOR: In case your share prices drop? I know you lot. You've got massive forests everywhere, roots everywhere, and there's always money in land.  
JABE: All the same, we respect the Earth as family. So many species evolved from that planet. Mankind is only one. I'm another. My ancestors were transplanted from the planet down below, and I'm a direct descendant of the tropical rainforest. **

Amy looked as if she was about to ask a question, but then decided against it, most likely not wanting a forty minute explanation from the Doctors.

**DOCTOR: Excuse me.  
(He scans a door panel marked Welcome to Platform One. Guide of Platform One Do You Need Assistance. A keypad labelled Maintenance log in, then Access denied.)  
JABE: And what about your ancestry, Doctor? Perhaps you could tell a story or two. Perhaps a man only enjoys trouble when there's nothing else left. I scanned you earlier. The metal machine had trouble identifying your species. It refused to admit your existence. And even when it named you, I wouldn't believe it. But it was right. I know where you're from. Forgive me for intruding, but it's remarkable that you even exist. I just wanted to say how sorry I am.  
(She puts her hand on his arm, and the Doctor puts his hand over hers. A tear drops from his eye. He gets the door open.) **

The room was deathly quiet.

**[Engine room]**

**(It runs the whole depth of the Platform. The Doctor and Jabe are by a catwalk that runs through a series of large fans.)  
DOCTOR: Is it me, or is it a bit nippy?  
(In a corridor, Rose is met by the Adherants, who knock her out by pistol whipping her with a weapon. They drag her into a room.) **

Ten's hand tightened on Rose's, and she smiled softly. Eleven looked worried too.

**DOCTOR: Fair do's, though, that's a great bit of air conditioning. Sort of nice and old fashioned. Bet they call it retro.  
(He scans a panel.)  
DOCTOR: Gotcha.  
(He pulls it off. A spider scuttles out and up the wall.)  
DOCTOR: What the hell's that?  
JABE: Is it part of the retro?  
DOCTOR: I don't think so. Hold on.  
(The Doctor aims his screwdriver at the spider, then Jabe lassoes it.)  
DOCTOR: Hey, nice liana.  
JABE: Thank you. We're not supposed to show them in public.  
DOCTOR: Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. Now then, who's been bringing their pets on board?  
JABE: What does it do?  
DOCTOR: Sabotage.  
COMPUTER: Earth Death in ten minutes.  
DOCTOR: And the temperature's about to rocket. Come on.  
COMPUTER: Earth Death in ten minutes. **

**[Observation gallery]**

**CASSANDRA: The planet's end. Come gather, come gather. Bid farewell to the cradle of civilisation. Let us mourn her with a traditional ballad.  
(The jukebox selects a record labeled Toxic by Britany Spears.) **

"Eugh, not her." Said Rose while Amy looked slightly happy at the song.

**[Outside the Steward's office]**

**(Smoke from the room is filling the corridor and the glare is coming through a small glass panel in the door. The little assistants have gathered.)  
DOCTOR: Hold on. Get back.  
(The Doctor does the sonic thing on another small panel.)  
COMPUTER: Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising.  
JABE: Is the Steward in there?!  
DOCTOR: You can smell him. Hold on, there's another sun filter programmed to descend.  
(He runs off.) **

**[Gallery 15]**

**COMPUTER: Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending.  
(Rose wakes in time to see the deadly glare begin to fill the room. She hammers on the door.)  
ROSE: Let me out! Let me out!  
COMPUTER: Sun filter descending. **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**ROSE: Let me out! Let me out! **

**[Gallery 15]**

**ROSE: Let me out!  
COMPUTER: Sun filter descending. **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**COMPUTER: Sun filter descending.  
(He works the door panel.)  
DOCTOR: Anyone in there? **

**[Gallery 15]**

**ROSE: Let me out! **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**DOCTOR: Oh, well, it would be you. **

**[Gallery 15]**

**ROSE: Open the door! **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**DOCTOR: Hold on. Give us two ticks. **

**[Gallery 15]**

**(The scorching rays reach the top of the door.)  
COMPUTER: Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending. **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**COMPUTER: Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising. **

**[Gallery 15]**

**COMPUTER: Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising. **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**COMPUTER: Sun filter descending.  
DOCTOR: Just what we need. **

**[Gallery 15]**

**DOCTOR [OC]: The computer's getting clever.  
ROSE: Stop mucking about! **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**DOCTOR: I'm not mucking about. It's fighting back. **

**[Gallery 15]**

**ROSE: Open the door!  
DOCTOR [OC]: I know!  
(Rose runs down the steps away from the glare as it moves down the door.) **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**ROSE [OC]: The lock's melted!  
COMPUTER: Sun filter descending. Sun filter **

**[Outside gallery 15]**

**COMPUTER: Descending. Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising.  
(Rose runs back up to the door.)  
DOCTOR: The whole thing's jammed. I can't open the doors. Stay there! **

**[Gallery 15]**

**DOCTOR [OC]: Don't move!  
ROSE: Where are am I going to go, Ipswich?  
COMPUTER: Earth Death in five minutes. **

A few people seemed to forget Rose was fine, as their eyes where wide, and they were completely engrossed in the show.

**[Observation gallery]**

**JABE: The metal machine confirms. The spider devices have infiltrated the whole of Platform One.  
CASSANDRA: How's that possible? Our private rooms are protected by a code wall. Moisturise me, moisturise me.  
MOXX: Summon the Steward.  
JABE: I'm afraid the Steward is dead.  
MOXX: Who killed him?  
CASSANDRA: This whole event was sponsored by the Face of Boe. He invited us. Talk to the Face. Talk to the Face. **

Jack whimpered in the back, making Eleven laugh, which he turned hastily into a cough.

**DOCTOR: Easy way of finding out. Someone bought their little pet on board. Let's send him back to master.  
(The Doctor puts down the spider that Jabe was scanning, and it scuttles off to Cassandra and scans her, then goes to the black gowned group.)  
CASSANDRA: The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. J'accuse!  
DOCTOR: That's all very well, and really kind of obvious, but if you stop and think about it  
(He goes over to the Adherants. Their leader tries to hit him, so he pulls of its arm.) **

"Oh." Said Amy quietly.

**DOCTOR: A Repeated Meme is just an idea. And that's all they are, an idea.  
(He pulls one of the wires dangling from the arm, and the Adherants all collapse.)  
DOCTOR: Remote controlled Droids. Nice little cover for the real troublemaker. Go on, Jimbo. Go home.**

**(The Doctor gives the spider a nudge, and it returns to Cassandra.)  
CASSANDRA: I bet you were the school swot and never got kissed. At arms!  
(Her attendants raise their spray guns.)  
DOCTOR: What are you going to do, moisturise me?  
CASSANDRA: With acid. Oh, you're too late, anyway. My spiders have control of the mainframe. Oh, you all carried them as gifts, tax free, past every code wall. I'm not just as pretty face.  
DOCTOR: Sabotaging a ship while you're still inside it? How stupid's that?  
CASSANDRA: I'd hoped to manufacture a hostage situation with myself as one of the victims. The compensation would have been enormous.  
DOCTOR: Five billion years and it still comes down to money.  
CASSANDRA: Do you think it's cheap, looking like this? Flatness costs a fortune. I am the last human, Doctor. Me. Not that freaky little kid of yours.  
MOXX: Arrest her, the infidel  
CASSANDRA: Oh, shut it, pixie. I've still got my final option.  
COMPUTER: Earth Death in three minutes.  
CASSANDRA: And here it comes. You're just as useful dead, all of you. I have shares in your rival companies and they'll triple in price as soon as you're dead. My spiders are primed and ready to destroy the safety systems. How did that old Earth song go? Burn, baby, burn.  
JABE: Then you'll burn with us.  
CASSANDRA: Oh, I'm so sorry. I know the use of teleportation is strictly forbidden, but I'm such a naughty thing. Spiders, activate. (There is a series of explosions through the Platform.)  
CASSANDRA: Forcefields gone with the planet about to explode. At least it'll be quick. Just like my fifth husband. Oh, shame on me.  
COMPUTER Safety systems failing.  
CASSANDRA: Bye, bye, darlings. Bye, bye, my darlings.  
(Cassandra and her attendants beam out.)  
COMPUTER: Heat levels rising. **

Everyone looked on at the screen, some in avid engrossment, some in slightly less enthusiasm as they had lived it, but still enjoying it.

**MOXX: Reset the computer.  
JABE: Only the Steward would know how.  
DOCTOR: No. We can do it by hand. There must be a system restore switch. Jabe, come on. You lot, just chill.  
COMPUTER: Heat rising. **

**[Space]**

**COMPUTER: Earth Death in two minutes. Earth Death in two minutes. **

**[Maintenance duct]**

**COMPUTER: Heat levels critical. **

**[Engine room]**

**COMPUTER: Heat levels critical.  
DOCTOR: Oh. And guess where the switch is.  
(On the other side of the turning razor sharp fans.)  
COMPUTER: Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising.  
(The Doctor pulls a breaker lever and the fans slow a little, but it resets as soon as he lets go of it.)  
COMPUTER: External temperature five thousand degrees.  
(Jabe pulls the breaker and holds it down.)  
DOCTOR: You can't. The heat's going to vent through this place.  
JABE: I know.  
DOCTOR: Jabe, you're made of wood.  
JABE: Then stop wasting time, Time Lord.  
COMPUTER: Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising. **

**[Observation gallery]**

**COMPUTER: Heat levels hazardous.  
(The observation window begins to crack.)  
MOXX: We're going to die!  
COMPUTER: Heat levels hazardous.  
(The Doctor makes it past the first fan.) **

**[Gallery 15]**

**(The window begins to crack here, too.)  
COMPUTER: Shields malfunction. Shields malfunction. Shields malfunction.  
(Random pieces of deadly glare lance into the room.) **

**[Engine room]**

**COMPUTER: Heat levels critical. Heat levels critical.  
(The Doctor looks back at Jabe, then times his run past the second fan.  
Glare lances through into the main observation gallery.)  
COMPUTER: Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising.  
(Jabe starts to combust. She lets go of the breaker and the fans speed up to faster than before until they are just a blur.)  
COMPUTER: Planet explodes in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five  
(The Doctor shuts his eyes and walks past the last fan.)  
COMPUTER: Four. **

"Doc, you've gottat teach me that!" said Jack, who had moved up a good twelve whole millimeters.

**(He opens his eyes, realises he is safe and dashes for the reset breaker.)  
DOCTOR: Raise shields! **

**[Gallery 15]**

**COMPUTER: One.  
(A forcefield envelopes Platform One as the Earth starts to boil, then explodes.)  
COMPUTER: Exoglass repair. Exoglass repair. Exoglass repair.  
(Rose opens her eyes as the cracks in the window vanish, and she sees the fractured remains of home floating by.)  
COMPUTER: Exoglass repair.  
(In the engine rooms, the fans have slowed right down for the Doctor to walk back easily to Jabe's smoking remains.) **

**[Observation gallery]**

**(Rose enters. The Moxx of Balhoon had got fried by the glare. The Doctor enters and goes over to the two other trees. He gives them the bad news.)  
DOCTOR: I'm sorry.  
ROSE: You all right?  
DOCTOR: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm full of ideas, I'm bristling with them. Idea number one, teleportation through five thousand degrees needs some kind of feed. Idea number two, this feed must be hidden nearby.  
(He smashes open the alleged ostrich egg to reveal a small device.)  
DOCTOR: Idea number three, if you're as clever as me, then a teleportation feed can be reversed.  
CASSANDRA [OC]: Oh, you should have seen their little alien faces.  
(Cassandra is beamed back in.)  
CASSANDRA: Oh.  
DOCTOR: The last human.  
CASSANDRA: So, you passed my little test. Bravo. This makes you eligible to join, er, the Human Club. **

"Ooh, fun." Said Rose snarkily.

**DOCTOR: People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them.  
CASSANDRA: It depends on your definition of people, and that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries. Take me to court, then, Doctor, and watch me smile and cry and flutter  
DOCTOR: And creak?  
CASSANDRA: And what?  
DOCTOR: Creak. You're creaking.  
CASSANDRA: What? Ah! I'm drying out! Oh, sweet heavens. Moisturise me, moisturise me! Where are my surgeons? My lovely boys! It's too hot!  
DOCTOR: You raised the temperature.  
CASSANDRA: Have pity! Moisturise me! Oh, oh, Doctor. I'm sorry. I'll do anything.  
ROSE: Help her.  
DOCTOR: Everything has its time and everything dies.  
CASSANDRA: I'm too young!  
(Splat!) **

"That's….disgusting. to say the least." Said River.

**[Space]**

**COMPUTER: Shuttles four and six departing. This unit now closing down for maintenance. **

**[Observation gallery]**

**(Only Rose and the Doctor are left, looking at the asteroids that were once the Earth as they float past the red giant Sun.)  
ROSE: The end of the Earth. It's gone. We were too busy saving ourselves. No one saw it go. All those years, all that history, and no one was even looking. It's just  
DOCTOR: Come with me. **

**[London]**

**(A baby cries, a man laughs. The Doctor and Rose stand in the middle of teeming people going about their daily lives.)  
MAN: Big Issue! Big Issue!  
DOCTOR: You think it'll last forever, people and cars and concrete, but it won't. One day it's all gone. Even the sky. My planet's gone. It's dead. It burned like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust before it's time.  
ROSE: What happened?  
DOCTOR: There was a war and we lost.  
ROSE: A war with who? What about your people?  
DOCTOR: I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left travelling on my own 'cos there's no one else.  
ROSE: There's me.  
DOCTOR: You've seen how dangerous it is. Do you want to go home?  
ROSE: I don't know. I want. Oh, can you smell chips?  
DOCTOR: Yeah. Yeah.  
ROSE: I want chips.  
DOCTOR: Me too.  
ROSE: Right then, before you get me back in that box, chips it is, and you can pay.  
DOCTOR: No money.  
ROSE: What sort of date are you? Come on then, tightwad, chips are on me. We've only got five billion years till the shops close. **

Everyone smiled at that, and then together turned to Jack.

* * *

**So that's that! QUESTION:**

**I'm wanting to add someone else into the room, and have them bunk with River… Who do you guys want? Donna? Martha? PM me or leave it in a review! Love you all! Oh, and next time I'll have Jack explaining his fit :D  
**

**~The-Ood-Must-Feed**


	6. The Unquiet Dead

**T-The Fall Season Finale…I just… In other news I've decided to put in… DONNA! Since everyone voted for her :D She'll be brought in towards the end And, I think I have an actual excuse for the almost month late update…. MY DAD GOT MARRIED! and then I was banned from my computer... :D But anyways, excuses excuses, on with the show! :D**

* * *

"Why were you so…freak-y out-y with The Face? He's really nice." Started Rose.

"Erm…Let's watch the next one! Yeah?" Jack was obviously avoiding the question, and was nervous footing about. Eleven gave a short bark of laughter, which he quickly turned into a cough at Jack's glare.

"Well, Rosie, when I was growing up in the 51st century, I was a poster-boy sort of for Boe Kind… Called me the Face Of Boe. And, ever since Bad Wolf when you brought me back, I've been immortal…And that's going to be me." Everyone sans Eleven and Jack stared at him, slack-jawed. Laughter erupted around Jack, and he shouted at them, finally huffing and sitting down in his chair, obviously mad at them all.

**[Chapel of Rest]**

**(A small altar with a cross on it flanked by a pair of candles. The rest of the room is also candle-lit and there are arum lilies in vases by an open coffin. The bald Welsh undertaker lights the gas lamp then speaks to his client.) **

"Oooh, that's not a creepy place. Not at all." Said Amy, sarcasm dripping off the words.

**SNEED: Sneed and Company offer their sincerest condolences, sir, in this most trying hour.  
REDPATH: Grandmamma had a good innings, Mister Sneed. She was so full of life. I can't believe she's gone.  
SNEED: Not gone, Mister Redpath, sir. Merely sleeping.  
REDPATH: May I have a moment?  
SNEED: Yes, of course. I shall be in the next room, should you require anything.  
(Sneed leaves. The man gazes down the corpse of his mother. Her skin turns blue for a moment then her eyes open. She grabs her son by the throat and knocks over a vase. The crash brings Sneed back in.) **

"What. The. Hell." Everyone, sans the Doctors and Rose were staring at the screen in horror.

**SNEED: Oh, no. No.  
(Sneed frees Redpath from the woman's grasp, forces her down and tries to put the coffin lid on.)  
SNEED: Gwyneth! Get down here now! We've got another one!  
(The vigorous corpse pushes the lid off, knocking Sneed out, and kicks her way out of the coffin side. She walks down the snow-covered street, groaning, and with blue vapour coming from her screaming mouth.) **

Many people sat, terrified and shocked at the strange alien monster.

**[Tardis]**

**(The Tardis is in a rather jerky flight.)  
DOCTOR: Hold that one down!  
ROSE: I'm holding this one down.  
DOCTOR: Well, hold them both down.  
ROSE: It's not going to work.  
(Rose tries to stretch across half the console.)  
DOCTOR: Oi! I promised you a time machine and that's what you're getting. Now, you've seen the future, let's have a look at the past. 1860. How does 1860 sound?  
ROSE: What happened in 1860?  
DOCTOR: I don't know, let's find out. Hold on, here we go! **

River snorted testily at that.

**[Kitchen]**

**SNEED: Gwyneth! Where are you, girl? Gwyneth!  
(Gwyneth comes in from outside.)**

"Whoa. She looks a lot like this girl I just hired… Gwen." Jack had spoken up again.

**SNEED: Where've you been? I was shouting.  
GWYNETH: I've been in the stables, sir, breaking the ice for old Sampson.  
SNEED: Well, get back in there and harness him up.  
GWYNETH: Whatever for, sir?  
SNEED: The stiffs are getting lively again. Mister Redpath's grandmother, she's up and on her feet and out there somewhere on the streets. We've got to find her.  
GWYNETH: Mister Sneed, for shame. How many more times? It's ungodly.  
SNEED: Don't look at me like it's my fault. Now, come on, hurry up. She was eighty six. She can't have got far.  
GWYNETH: What about Mister Redpath? Did you deal with him?  
SNEED: No. She did.  
GWYNETH: That's awful, sir. I know it's not my place, and please, forgive me for talking out of turn, sir. But this is getting beyond, now. Something terrible is happening in this house, and we've got to get help.  
SNEED: And we will, as soon as I get that dead old woman locked up and safe and sound. Now stop prevaricating, girl. Get the hearse ready. We're going body snatching. **

"Oh, that sounds fun." Sniffed Amelia. The group seemed engrossed more than usual during this episode, and had made a non-spoken agreement to be silent, in order to watch the show without interruptions.

**[Tardis]**

**(The Tardis materialises at the end of a snowy street. The Doctor and Rose are lying on the floor. It must have been a rough landing.)  
ROSE: Blimey!  
DOCTOR: You're telling me. Are you all right?  
ROSE: Yeah. I think so. Nothing broken. Did we make it? Where are we?  
DOCTOR: I did it. Give the man a medal. Earth, Naples, December 24th, 1860.  
ROSE: That's so weird. It's Christmas.  
DOCTOR: All yours. **

**ROSE: But, it's like, think about it, though. Christmas. 1860. Happens once, just once and it's gone, it's finished, it'll never happen again. Except for you. You can go back and see days that are dead and gone a hundred thousand sunsets ago. No wonder you never stay still.  
DOCTOR: Not a bad life.  
ROSE: Better with two. Come on, then.  
DOCTOR: Hey, where do you think you're going?  
ROSE: 1860.  
DOCTOR: Go out there dressed like that, you'll start a riot, Barbarella. There's a wardrobe through there. First left, second right, third on the left, go straight ahead, under the stairs, past the bins, fifth door on your left. Hurry up! **

"I got so lost during that, Doctor! You spoke so fast!" Rose laughed fondly at the memory, of her first Doctor. Which of course caused her to wonder why she wasn't with the newest Doctor. He was quite hyper, a bit more so than her doctor.

**[Hearse]**

**(Old Sampson and his partner are pulling the hearse slowly down the street.)  
SNEED: Not a sign. Where is she?  
GWYNETH: She's vanished into the ether, sir. Where can she be?  
SNEED: You tell me, girl.  
GWYNETH: What do you mean?  
SNEED: Gwyneth, you know full well.  
GWYNETH: No, sir. I can't.  
SNEED: Use the sight.  
GWYNETH: It's not right, sir.  
SNEED: Find the old lady or you're dismissed. Now, look inside, girl. Look deep. Where is she?  
GWYNETH: She's lost, sir. She's so alone. Oh, my lord. So many strange things in her head.  
SNEED: But where?  
GWYNETH: She's excited about tonight. Before she passed on, she was going to see him.  
SNEED: Who's him?  
GWYNETH: The great man. All the way from London. The great, great man. **

"What was that?" asked an amused Rory. This girl, Gwyneth, seemed to have almost supernatural powers.

**[Dressing room]**

**MAN: Mister Dickens, Mister Dickens. Excuse me, sir, Mister Dickens. This is your call. Are you quite well, sir?  
DICKENS: Splendid, splendid. Sorry. **

Amy gasped. "Is that Ch-Charles Dickens? I absolutely loved reading his work in school! I still have a few books of his in our room in the TARDIS!" She seemed giddy almost at the appearance of one of her favorite authors.

**MAN: Time you were on, sir.  
DICKENS: Absolutely. I was just brooding. Christmas Eve. Not the best of times to be alone.  
MAN: Did no one travel with you, sir? No lady wife waiting out front?  
DICKENS: I'm afraid not.  
MAN: You can have mine if you want.  
DICKENS: Oh, I wouldn't dare. I've been rather, let's say, clumsy, with family matters. Thank God I'm too old to cause any more trouble.  
MAN: You speak as though it's all over, sir.  
DICKENS: No, it's never over. On and on I go, the same old show. I'm like a ghost, condemned to repeat myself for all eternity.  
MAN: It's never too late, sir. You can always think up some new turns.  
DICKENS: No, I can't. Even my imagination grows stale. I'm an old man. Perhaps I've thought everything I'll ever think. Still, the lure of the limelight's as potent as a pipe, what? Eh? On with the motley. **

**[Tardis]**

**(The Doctor is working under the console when Rose returns, appropriately coiffed and attired for 1860.) **

Rose's cheeks heated up quickly, and the tips of her ears turned a deep pink in embarrassment as everyone turned to look at her in awe as her difference from the period-attire to her baggy pants and purple shirt that she currently wore. Ten grabbed her hand, and leaned in, whispering something into her hair, causing her face to turn bright red.

**DOCTOR: Blimey!  
ROSE: Don't laugh.  
DOCTOR: You look beautiful, considering.  
ROSE: Considering what?  
DOCTOR: That you're human.  
ROSE: I think that's a compliment. Aren't you going to change?  
DOCTOR: I've changed my jumper. Come on.  
ROSE: You stay there. You've done this before. This is mine. **

**[Outside the Tardis]**

**(Rose opens the door and steps gingerly out into the fallen snow.)  
DOCTOR: Ready for this? Here we go. History. **

**[Outside the theatre]**

**(Charles Dickens walks out onto the stage where an appreciate audience applauds, including one dead woman.  
The Doctor and Rose walk down the street while a choir sing God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. They move on before the hearse stops.)  
GWYNETH: She's in there, sir, I'm certain of it.  
SNEED: Right.  
(The Doctor buys a newspaper.)  
DOCTOR: I got the flight a bit wrong.  
ROSE: I don't care.  
DOCTOR: It's not 1860, it's 1869.  
ROSE: I don't care.  
DOCTOR: And it's not Naples.  
ROSE: I don't care.  
DOCTOR: It's Cardiff.  
(That stops Rose in her tracks.)  
ROSE: Right. **

**[Theatre]**

**(Mister Dickens is giving his reading from A Christmas Carol.)  
DICKENS: Now, it is a fact that there was nothing particular at all about the knocker on the door of this house, but let any man explain to me if he can, how it happened that Scrooge, having his key in the lock of the door, saw in the knocker, without it's undergoing any intermediate process of change, not a knocker, but Marley's face. Marley's face! It looked at Scrooge as Marley used to look. It looked like **

"Doctor, can we go see Charles read aloud a Christmas Carol? Please?" begged Amy, turning big puppy dog eyes to her Doctor, who shrugged, glancing almost nervously towards Rose and Ten who were cuddling, Rose's head leaning onto his past self's shoulder, her body pressed against his.

**(The old woman begins to glow and give off a faint gas.)  
DICKENS: Oh, my lord. It looked like that!  
(Dickens points, and the audience turns to see.)  
DICKENS: What phantasmagoria is this?  
(The corpse rises and groans. The audience screams.) **

**[Outside the theatre]**

**(The Doctor and Rose hear the screams.)  
DOCTOR: That's more like it! **

All the companions rolled their eyes. Where would the Doctor be without danger and adventures?

**[Theatre]**

**(A blue gas entity is coming from the corpse and flying around the auditorium. The audience flees.)  
DICKENS: Stay in your seats, I beg you. It is a lantern show. It's trickery.  
SNEED: Excuse me.  
GWYNETH: There she is, sir!  
SNEED: I can see that. The whole blooming world can see that!  
(The police is arriving outside, blowing his whistle.)  
DOCTOR: Fantastic. **

"Do all of your regenerations have a catchphrase? Your Geronimo, you used to obviously have 'Fantastic'…" Rory trailed off as Eleven nodded.

**(The corpse collapses.)  
DOCTOR: Did you see where it came from?  
DICKENS: Ah, the wag reveals himself, does he? I trust you're satisfied, sir!  
(Sneed and Gwyneth pick up the corpse.)  
ROSE: Oi! Leave her alone! Doctor, I'll get them.  
DOCTOR: Be careful! Did it say anything? Can it speak? I'm the Doctor, by the way.  
DICKENS: Doctor? You look more like a navvie.  
DOCTOR: What's wrong with this jumper? **

**[Outside the theatre]**

**ROSE: What're you doing?!  
GWYNETH: Oh, it's a tragedy, miss. Don't worry yourself. Me and the master will deal with it. The fact is, this poor lady's been taken with the brain fever and we have to get her to the infirmary.  
ROSE: She's cold. She's dead! Oh, my God, what'd you do to her?  
(Sneed sneaks up behind Rose and puts a pad of cloth over her mouth. She struggles briefly then passes out.) **

"That's horrible!-"

"If anyone did that to Amelia-"

"Doc, how'd you let them do that?"

"Rose, were you alright?"

And much more concerns were heard from everyone, sans the Doctors and River Song, with crossed arms. Rose smiled at everyone, obviously embarrassed.

**GWYNETH: What did you do that for?  
SNEED: She's seen too much. Get her in the hearse. Legs. **

Rose shifted, slightly uncomfortable obviously, and Ten felt a flare of anger as a memory of Rose yelling at Sneed for copping a feel on her flashed through his mind.

**[Theatre]**

**(The blue entity flies into a gas light.)  
DOCTOR: Gas! It's made of gas. **

**[Outside the theatre]**

**DOCTOR: Rose!  
DICKENS: You're not escaping me, sir. What do you know about that hobgoblin, hmm? Projection on glass, I suppose. Who put you up to it?  
DOCTOR: Yeah, mate. Not now, thanks. Oi, you! Follow that hearse!  
(The Doctor gets into a nearby carriage.)  
DRIVER: I can't do that, sir.  
DOCTOR: Why not?  
DICKENS: I'll tell you why not. I'll give you a very good reason why not. Because this is my coach.  
DOCTOR: Well, get in, then. Move! **

"I always loved that regeneration of yours, Doc. Very sassy." Jack winked at Eleven, addressing him. Eleven grinned goofily in return.

**[Coach]**

**(The driver cracks the whip and the carriage moves down the street.)  
DOCTOR: Come on, you're losing them.  
DRIVER: Everything in order, Mister Dickens?  
DICKENS: No! It is not!  
DOCTOR: What did he say?  
DICKENS: Let me say this first. I'm not without a sense of humour.  
DOCTOR: Dickens?  
DICKENS: Yes.  
DOCTOR: Charles Dickens?  
DICKENS: Yes.  
DOCTOR: The Charles Dickens?  
DRIVER: Should I remove the gentleman, sir?  
DOCTOR: Charles Dickens? You're brilliant, you are. Completely one hundred percent brilliant. I've read them all. Great Expectations, Oliver Twist and what's the other one, the one with the ghost?  
DICKENS: A Christmas Carol?  
DOCTOR: No, no, no, the one with the trains. The Signal Man, that's it. Terrifying! The best short story ever written. You're a genius.  
DRIVER: You want me to get rid of him, sir?  
DICKENS: Er, no, I think he can stay.  
DOCTOR: Honestly, Charles. Can I call you Charles? I'm such a big fan.  
DICKENS: A what? A big what?  
DOCTOR: Fan. Number one fan, that's me.  
DICKENS: How exactly are you a fan? In what way do you resemble a means of keeping oneself cool? **

"Did you know that in the early 1900's fan was a term to insult Baseball enthusiasts, as it was short for fanatic?"

"Fascinating, Doc,. No really."

**DOCTOR: No, it means fanatic, devoted to. Mind you, I've got to say, that American bit in Martin Chuzzlewit, what's that about? Was that just padding or what? I mean, it's rubbish, that bit.  
DICKENS: I thought you said you were my fan.  
DOCTOR: Ah, well, if you can't take criticism. Go on, do the death of Little Nell, it cracks me up. No, sorry, forget about that. Come on, faster!  
DICKENS: Who exactly is in that hearse?  
DOCTOR: My friend. She's only nineteen. It's my fault. She's in my care, and now she's in danger.  
DICKENS: Why are we wasting my time talking about dry old books? This is much more important. Driver, be swift! The chase is on!  
DRIVER: Yes, sir!  
DOCTOR: Attaboy, Charlie.  
DICKENS: Nobody calls me Charlie.  
DOCTOR: The ladies do.  
DICKENS: How do you know that?  
DOCTOR: I told you, I'm your number one  
DICKENS: Number one fan. **

The Ponds snorted at their beloved Doctor's past behavior.

**[Chapel of Rest]**

**GWYNETH: The poor girl's still alive, sir! What're we going to do with her?  
SNEED: I don't know! I didn't plan any of this, did I. It isn't my fault if the dead won't stay dead.  
GWYNETH: Then whose fault is it, sir? Why is this happening to us?  
(Gwyneth and Sneed leave. The gas lamp flares and there are whispered voices.) **

"That damn man didn't even think twice about leaving me with a sodding zombie! How could he- I mean…" Rose ended up making a snarl of sorts before realizing what she just did and blushed, readjusting her head under the Doctor's arm, to avoid further embarrassment.

**[Hallway]**

**SNEED: I did the Bishop a favour, once. Made his nephew look like a cherub even though he'd been a fortnight in the weir. Perhaps he'll do us an exorcism on the cheap.  
(Someone knocks on the door.)  
SNEED: Say I'm not in. Tell them we're closed. Just, just get rid of them. **

**[Front door]**

**(Sneed goes back down the corridor. Rose wakes up as blue gas from the lamp animates young Mister Redpath, who had been placed in a coffin.  
Gwyneth opens the front door to Charles Dickens and the Doctor.)  
GWYNETH: I'm sorry, sir. We're closed.  
DICKENS: Nonsense. Since when did an Undertaker keep office hours? The dead don't die on schedule. I demand to see your master.  
GWYNETH: He's not in, sir.  
DICKENS: Don't lie to me, child. Summon him at once.  
GWYNETH: I'm awfully sorry, Mister Dickens, but the master's indisposed.  
(A gas lamp flares.)  
DOCTOR: Having trouble with your gas?  
DICKENS: What the Shakespeare is going on? **

Rose snorted at that.

**[Chapel of Rest]**

**(Rose sees her companion.)  
ROSE: Are you all right? You're kidding me, yeah? You're just kidding. You are kidding me, aren't you?  
(Redpath climbs out of the coffin and walks zombie-like towards her.)  
ROSE: Okay, not kidding.  
(Rose runs for the door.) **

**[Front door]**

**(The Doctor goes past Gwyneth to the flaring gas lamp.)  
GWYNETH: You're not allowed inside, sir.  
DOCTOR: There's something inside the walls.  
(Mrs Redpath reanimates in her coffin.)  
DOCTOR: The gas pipes. Something's living inside the gas. **

**[Chapel of Rest]**

**ROSE: Let me out! **

**[Front door]**

**ROSE [OC]: Open the door!  
DOCTOR: That's her.  
ROSE [OC]: Please, please, let me out! **

Eleven winced at her pleas, reminiscent of her pleas during Doomsday.

**[Hallway]**

**(The Doctor runs down the corridor and into Sneed.)  
SNEED: How dare you, sir. (to Dickens.) This is my house!  
DICKENS: Shut up.  
SNEED: (to Gwyneth)I told you. **

**[Chapel of Rest]**

**ROSE: Let me out! Somebody open the door! Open the door!  
(Redpath grabs Rose. The Doctor kicks the door in.)  
DOCTOR: I think this is my dance.  
(The Doctor pulls Rose away from Redpath.)  
DICKENS: It's a prank. It must be. We're under some mesmeric influence.  
DOCTOR: No, we're not. The dead are walking. Hi.  
ROSE: Hi. Who's your friend?  
DOCTOR: Charles Dickens.  
ROSE: Okay. **

Ten and the Ponds smiled at that. When traveling with the Doctor, you had to be accustomed to surprise.

**DOCTOR: My name's the Doctor. Who are you, then? What do you want?  
(Redpath replies with several voices.)  
REDPATH: Failing. Open the rift. We're dying. Trapped in this form. Cannot sustain. Help us. Argh!  
(The gas leaves Redpath and his mother and returns to the gas lamp. The corpses collapse.) **

**[Living room]**

**(Gwyneth pours tea.)  
ROSE: First of all you drug me, then you kidnap me, and don't think I didn't feel your hands having a quick wander, you dirty old man.  
SNEED: I won't be spoken to like this!  
ROSE: Then you stuck me in a room full of zombies! And if that ain't enough, you swan off and leave me to die! So come on, talk!  
SNEED: It's not my fault. It's this house. It always had a reputation. Haunted. But I never had much bother until a few months back, and then the stiffs, the er, dear departed started getting restless.  
DICKENS: Tommyrot.  
SNEED: You witnessed it. Can't keep the beggars down, sir. They walk. And it's the queerest thing, but they hang on to scraps.  
(Gwyneth places the Doctor's cup on the mantlepiece beside him.)  
GWYNETH: Two sugars, sir, just how you like it.  
SNEED: One old fellow who used to be a sexton almost walked into his own memorial service. Just like the old lady going to your performance, sir, just as she planned.  
DICKENS: Morbid fancy.  
DOCTOR: Oh, Charles, you were there.  
DICKENS: I saw nothing but an illusion. **

"Nothing but an illusion… is that what he really thought?" asked Rory in disbelief.

**DOCTOR: If you're going to deny it, don't waste my time. Just shut up. What about the gas?  
SNEED: That's new, sir. Never seen anything like that.  
DOCTOR: Means it's getting stronger, the rift's getting wider and something's sneaking through.  
ROSE: What's the rift?  
DOCTOR: A weak point in time and space. A connection between this place and another. That's the cause of ghost stories, most of the time.  
SNEED: That's how I got the house so cheap. Stories going back generations.  
(Dickens slams the door as he leaves.)  
SNEED: Echoes in the dark, queer songs in the air, and this feeling like a shadow passing over your soul. Mind you, truth be told, it's been good for business. Just what people expect from a gloomy old trade like mine. **

**[Hallway]**

**(Dickens stops by a gas lamp and tries to listen to the whispers.)  
DICKENS: Impossible. **

**[Chapel of Rest]**

**(Dickens takes the lid off Redpath's coffin, and waves his hand in front of the dead man's face. The Doctor watches from the doorway as Dickens searches the coffin.)  
DOCTOR: Checking for strings?  
DICKENS: Wires, perhaps. There must be some mechanism behind this fraud.  
DOCTOR: Oh, come on, Charles. All right. I shouldn't have told you to shut up. I'm sorry. But you've got one of the best minds in the world. You saw those gas creatures.  
DICKENS: I cannot accept that.  
DOCTOR: And what does the human body do when it decomposes? It breaks down and produces gas. Perfect home for these gas things. They can slip inside and use it as a vehicle, just like your driver and his coach.  
DICKENS: Stop it. Can it be that I have the world entirely wrong?  
DOCTOR: Not wrong. There's just more to learn.  
DICKENS: I've always railed against the fantasists. Oh, I loved an illusion as much as the next man, revelled in them, but that's exactly what they were, illusions. The real world is something else. I dedicated myself to that. Injustices, the great social causes. I hoped that I was a force for good. Now you tell me that the real world is a realm of spectres and jack-o'-lanterns. In which case, have I wasted my brief span here, Doctor? Has it all been for nothing? **

"Deep, man. Deep." Said Jack, in a horrid American accent to break the silence.

**[Pantry]**

**(Gwyneth lights the gas lamp. Rose starts the washing up.)  
GWYNETH: Please, miss, you shouldn't be helping. It's not right.  
ROSE: Don't be daft. Sneed works you to death. How much do you get paid?  
GWYNETH: Eight pound a year, miss.  
ROSE: How much?  
GWYNETH: I know. I would've been happy with six.  
ROSE: So, did you go to school or what?  
GWYNETH: Of course I did. What do you think I am, an urchin? I went every Sunday, nice and proper.  
ROSE: What, once a week?  
GWYNETH: We did sums and everything. To be honest, I hated every second.  
ROSE: Me too.  
GWYNETH: Don't tell anyone, but one week, I didn't go and ran on the heath all on my own.  
ROSE: I did plenty of that. I used to go down the shops with my mate Shareen. We used to go and look at boys.  
GWYNETH: Well, I don't know much about that, miss.  
ROSE: Come on, times haven't changed that much. I bet you've done the same.  
GWYNETH: I don't think so, miss.  
ROSE: Gwyneth, you can tell me. I bet you've got your eye on someone.  
GWYNETH: I suppose. There is one lad. The butcher's boy. He comes by every Tuesday. Such a lovely smile on him.  
ROSE: I like a nice smile. Good smile, nice bum.  
GWYNETH: Well, I have never heard the like.  
ROSE: Ask him out. Give him a cup of tea or something, that's a start.  
GWYNETH: I swear it is the strangest thing, miss. You've got all the clothes and the breeding, but you talk like some sort of wild thing.  
ROSE: Maybe I am. Maybe that's a good thing. You need a bit more in your life than Mister Sneed.  
GWYNETH: Oh, now that's not fair. He's not so bad, old Sneed. He was very kind to me to take me in because I lost my mum and dad to the flu when I was twelve.  
ROSE: Oh, I'm sorry.  
GWYNETH: Thank you, miss. But I'll be with them again, one day, sitting with them in paradise. I shall be so blessed. They're waiting for me. Maybe your dad's up there waiting for you too, miss.**

"Wait… How'd she know 'bout Pete?" Asked Jack, intrigued by the carbon-copy of his new employee. Rose and the Doctors smiled knowingly, making the Ponds groan in annoyance at the familiar "I-know-something-you-don't-but-I-won't-tell-you" Look on their Doctor's face.

**ROSE: Maybe. Er, who told you he was dead?  
GWYNETH: I don't know. Must have been the Doctor.  
ROSE: My father died years back.  
GWYNETH: But you've been thinking about him lately more than ever.  
ROSE: I suppose so. How do you know all this?  
GWYNETH: Mister Sneed says I think too much. I'm all alone down here. I bet you've got dozens of servants, haven't you, miss?  
ROSE: No, no servants where I'm from.  
GWYNETH: And you've come such a long way.  
ROSE: What makes you think so?  
GWYNETH: You're from London. I've seen London in drawings, but never like that. All those people rushing about half naked, for shame. And the noise, and the metal boxes racing past, and the birds in the sky, no, they're metal as well. Metal birds with people in them. People are flying. And you, you've flown so far. Further than anyone. The things you've seen. The darkness, the big bad wolf. **

"Bad Wolf!"

"Bad Wolf!"

"That was a _tie_ Doctor!" Rose complained as Ten pumped his fist happily at the one-up on Rose.

**I'm sorry. I'm sorry, miss.  
ROSE: It's all right.  
GWYNETH: I can't help it. Ever since I was a little girl, my mam said I had the sight. She told me to hide it.  
DOCTOR: But it's getting stronger, more powerful, is that right?  
GWYNETH: All the time, sir. Every night, voices in my head.  
DOCTOR: You grew up on top of the rift. You're part of it. You're the key.  
GWYNETH: I've tried to make sense of it, sir. Consulted with spiritualists, table rappers, all sorts.  
DOCTOR: Well, that should help. You can show us what to do.  
GWYNETH: What to do where, sir?  
DOCTOR: We're going to have a séance. **

**[Living room]**

**(Everyone is gathered around a table.)  
GWYNETH: This is how Madam Mortlock summons those from the Land of Mists, down in big town. Come, we must all join hands.  
DICKENS: I can't take part in this.  
DOCTOR: Humbug? Come on, open mind.  
DICKENS: This is precisely the sort of cheap mummery I strive to unmask. Séances? Nothing but luminous tambourines and a squeeze box concealed between the knees. This girl knows nothing.  
DOCTOR: Now, don't antagonise her. I love a happy medium.  
ROSE: I can't believe you just said that.  
DOCTOR: Come on, we might need you.  
(Dickens sits down between Rose and Gwyneth.)  
DOCTOR: Good man. Now, Gwyneth, reach out.  
GWYNETH: Speak to us. Are you there? Spirits, come. Speak to us that we may relieve your burden.  
(The whispering starts.)  
ROSE: Can you hear that?  
DICKENS: Nothing can happen. This is sheer folly.  
ROSE: Look at her.  
GWYNETH: I see them. I feel them.  
(Gas tendrils drift above their heads.)  
ROSE: What's it saying?  
DOCTOR: They can't get through the rift. Gwyneth, it's not controlling you, you're controlling it. Now, look deep. Allow them through.  
GWYNETH: I can't!  
DOCTOR: Yes, you can. Just believe it. I have faith in you, Gwyneth. Make the link. **

"How about no." Said Rose, half heartedly.

**GWYNETH: Yes.  
(Blue outlines of people appear behind Gwyneth.)  
SNEED: Great God! Spirits from the other side.  
DOCTOR: The other side of the universe.  
(The figures speak with two children's voices, and Gwyneth speaks with them.)  
GELTH: Pity us. Pity the Gelth. There is so little time. Help us.  
DOCTOR: What do you want us to do?  
GELTH: The rift. Take the girl to the rift. Make the bridge.  
DOCTOR: What for?  
GELTH: We are so very few. The last of our kind. We face extinction.  
DOCTOR: Why, what happened?  
GELTH: Once we had a physical form like you, but then the war came.  
DICKENS: War? What war?  
GELTH: The Time War. The whole universe convulsed. The Time War raged. Invisible to smaller species but devastating to higher forms. Our bodies wasted away. We're trapped in this gaseous state.  
DOCTOR: So that's why you need the corpses.  
GELTH: We want to stand tall, to feel the sunlight, to live again. We need a physical form, and your dead are abandoned. They're going to waste. Give them to us.  
ROSE: But we can't.  
DOCTOR: Why not?  
ROSE: It's not. I mean, it's not  
DOCTOR: Not decent? Not polite? It could save their lives.  
GELTH: Open the rift. Let the Gelth through. We're dying. Help us. Pity the Gelth.  
(The Gelth go back into the gas lamps and Gwyneth collapses across the table.)  
ROSE: Gwyneth?  
DICKENS: All true.  
ROSE: Are you okay?  
DICKENS: It's all true.  
(A little later, Gwyneth has been laid on the chaise longue.)  
ROSE: It's all right. You just sleep.  
GWYNETH: But my angels, miss. They came, didn't they? They need me?  
DOCTOR: They do need you, Gwyneth. You're they're only chance of survival.  
ROSE: I've told you, leave her alone. She's exhausted and she's not fighting your battles. Drink this. **

Ten leaned over and whispered something in Rose's ear, making her seem to give of a wave of anger. She whispered back into his ear fiercely, as he repeated the same action. She got really mad then, whispering something back, then they both burst out laughing at that.

**SNEED: Well, what did you say, Doctor? Explain it again. What are they?  
DOCTOR: Aliens.  
SNEED: Like foreigners, you mean?  
DOCTOR: Pretty foreign, yeah. From up there.  
SNEED: Brecon? **

"Yeah, all aliens are form Brecon. That'd 'splain a lot, eh Doc?" Said Jack, obviously used to Rose and Ten's whisper fights.

**DOCTOR: Close. And they've been trying to get through from Brecon to Cardiff but the road's blocked. Only a few can get through and even then they're weak. They can only test drive the bodies for so long, then they have to revert to gas and hide in the pipes.  
DICKENS: Which is why they need the girl.  
ROSE: They're not having her.  
DOCTOR: But she can help. Living on the rift, she's become part of it. She can open it up, make a bridge and let them through.  
DICKENS: Incredible. Ghosts that are not ghosts but beings from another world, who can only exist in our world by inhabiting cadavers.  
DOCTOR: Good system. It might work.  
ROSE: You can't let them run around inside of dead people.  
DOCTOR: Why not? It's like recycling.  
ROSE: Seriously though, you can't.  
DOCTOR: Seriously though, I can.  
ROSE: It's just wrong. Those bodies were living people. We should respect them even in death.  
DOCTOR: Do you carry a donor card?  
ROSE: That's different. That's  
DOCTOR: It is different, yeah. It's a different morality. Get used to it or go home. You heard what they said, time's short. I can't worry about a few corpses when the last of the Gelth could be dying.  
ROSE: I don't care. They're not using her.  
GWYNETH: Don't I get a say, miss?  
ROSE: Look, you don't understand what's going on.  
GWYNETH: You would say that, miss, because that's very clear inside your head, that you think I'm stupid. **

"Ooh, that's not nice." Frowned River, glancing at Eleven.

"I honestly didn't think that!" Said Rose, protesting.

**ROSE: That's not fair.  
GWYNETH: It's true, though. Things might be very different where you're from, but here and now, I know my own mind, and the angels need me. Doctor, what do I have to do?  
DOCTOR: You don't have to do anything.  
GWYNETH: They've been singing to me since I was a child, sent by my mam on a holy mission. So tell me.  
DOCTOR: We need to find the rift. This house is on a weak spot, so there must be a spot that's weaker than any other. Mister Sneed, what's the weakest part of this house? The place where most of the ghosts have been seen?  
SNEED: That would be the morgue.  
ROSE: No chance you were going to say gazebo, is there? **

**[Morgue]**

**(A cold basement where the recently departed lie under white sheets.)  
DOCTOR: Urgh. Talk about Bleak House.  
ROSE: The thing is, Doctor, the Gelth don't succeed, 'cos I know they don't. I know for a fact there weren't corpses walking around in 1869.  
DOCTOR: Time's in flux, changing every second. Your cozy little world can be rewritten like that. Nothing is safe. Remember that. Nothing.  
DICKENS: Doctor, I think the room is getting colder.  
ROSE: Here they come.  
(A Gelth comes out of a gas lamp by the door and stands under a stone archway.)  
GELTH: You've come to help. Praise the Doctor. Praise him.  
ROSE: Promise you won't hurt her. **

"It's obvious she'll die. I don't know if I could do that." Said Amy, solemnly.

"You would. If Rory was there, and you had to save him, you would." Said Eleven, matter of factly.

**GELTH: Hurry! Please, so little time. Pity the Gelth.  
DOCTOR: I'll take you somewhere else after the transfer. Somewhere you can build proper bodies. This isn't a permanent solution, all right?  
GWYNETH: My angels. I can help them live.  
DOCTOR: Okay, where's the weak point?  
GELTH: Here, beneath the arch.  
GWYNETH: Beneath the arch.  
(Gwyneth stands under the arch, inside the Gelth.)  
ROSE: You don't have to do this.  
GWYNETH: My angels.  
GELTH: Establish the bridge. Reach out to the void. Let us through!  
GWYNETH: Yes, I can see you. I can see you. Come!  
GELTH: Bridgehead establishing.  
GWYNETH: Come to me. Come to this world, poor lost souls!  
GELTH: It is begun. The bridge is made.  
(Gwyneth opens her mouth, and blue gas comes out.)  
GELTH: She has given herself to the Gelth. The bridge is open. We descend.  
(The sweet blue apparition turns flame red with sharp teeth. It's voice deepens and hardens.)  
GELTH: The Gelth will come through in force.  
DICKENS: You said that you were few in number.  
GELTH: A few billion. And all of us in need of corpses.  
(The dead get up.)  
SNEED: Gwyneth, stop this. Listen to your master. This has gone far enough. Stop dabbling, child, and leave these things alone, I beg of you  
ROSE: Mister Sneed, get back!  
(A corpse grabs Sneed and snaps his neck. A Gelth zooms into his mouth.)  
DOCTOR: I think it's gone a little bit wrong.  
SNEED: I have joined the legions of the Gelth. Come, march with us.  
DICKENS: No.  
GELTH: We need bodies. All of you. Dead. The human race. Dead.  
DOCTOR: Gwyneth, stop them! Send them back now!  
GELTH: Three more bodies. Convert them. Make them vessels for the Gelth.  
(Dead Sneed backs Rose and the Doctor up against a metal gate.)  
DICKENS: Doctor, I can't. I'm sorry. This new world of yours is too much for me. I'm so  
(The Doctor and Rose hide behind the metal gate, where the corpses cannot reach them.)  
GELTH: Give yourself to glory. Sacrifice your lives for the Gelth.  
DOCTOR: I trusted you. I pitied you!  
GELTH: We don't want your pity. We want this world and all it's flesh.  
DOCTOR: Not while I'm alive.  
GELTH: Then live no more. **

"They're scary." Commented Jack.

**(Dickens runs out of the house, but blue gas seeps out round the door. He runs down the street, chased by a Gelph.)  
ROSE: But I can't die. Tell me I can't. I haven't even been born yet. It's impossible for me to die. Isn't it?  
DOCTOR: I'm sorry. **

**[Street]**

**GELTH: Failing! Atmosphere hostile!  
(The Gelph dives into the street lamp.)  
DICKENS: Gas. The gas! **

**[Morgue]**

**ROSE: But it's 1869. How can I die now?  
DOCTOR: Time isn't a straight line. It can twist into any shape. You can be born in the twentieth century and die in the nineteenth and it's all my fault. I brought you here.  
ROSE: It's not your fault. I wanted to come.  
DOCTOR: What about me? I saw the fall of Troy, World War Five. I pushed boxes at the Boston Tea Party. Now I'm going to die in a dungeon in Cardiff.  
ROSE: It's not just dying. We'll become one of them. **

"Guys, still here!" said Rose, waving her arms to please the suddenly paler Ponds and the worried Jack.

**(Dickens runs back into Sneed's house and turns the gas lamps off then on again. He holds a handkerchief to his mouth to try and stop himself choking on the unlit town gas as he goes.)  
ROSE: We'll go down fighting, yeah?  
DOCTOR: Yeah.  
ROSE: Together?  
DOCTOR: Yeah.  
(They hold hands.)  
DOCTOR: I'm so glad I met you.  
ROSE: Me too.  
(Dickens runs in.)  
DICKENS: Doctor! Doctor! Turn off the flame, turn up the gas! Now, fill the room, all of it, now!  
DOCTOR: What're you doing?  
DICKENS: Turn it all on. Flood the place!  
DOCTOR: Brilliant. Gas.  
ROSE: What, so we choke to death instead?  
DICKENS: Am I correct, Doctor? These creatures are gaseous.  
DOCTOR: Fill the room with gas, it'll draw them out of the host. Suck them into the air like poison from a wound!  
(The corpses leave the Doctor and Rose, and start shambling towards Dickens.)  
DICKENS: I hope, oh Lord, I hope that this theory will be validated soon, if not immediately.  
DOCTOR: Plenty more!  
(The Doctor rips a gas pipe from the wall. The Gelphs leave the corpses.)  
DICKENS: It's working.  
(The Doctor and Rose come out of the alcove.)  
DOCTOR: Gwyneth, send them back. They lied. They're not angels.  
GWYNETH: Liars?  
DOCTOR: Look at me. If your mother and father could look down and see this, they'd tell you the same. They'd give you the strength. Now send them back!  
ROSE: I can't breathe.  
DOCTOR: Charles, get her out.  
ROSE: I'm not leaving her.  
GWYNETH: They're too strong.  
DOCTOR: Remember that world you saw? Rose's world? All those people. None of it will exist unless you send them back through the rift.  
GWYNETH: I can't send them back. But I can hold them. Hold them in this place, hold them here. Get out.  
(Gwyneth takes a box of matches from her apron pocket.)  
ROSE: You can't!  
GWYNETH: Leave this place!  
DOCTOR: Rose, get out. Go now. I won't leave her while she's still in danger. Now go!  
(Rose and Dickens leave.)  
DOCTOR: Come on, leave give that to me. **

**[Hallway]**

**DICKENS: This way! **

**[Morgue]**

**(Gwyneth doesn't move. The Doctor feels for a pulse in her neck.)  
DOCTOR: I'm sorry.  
(He kisses her forehead.)  
DOCTOR: Thank you. **

The Doctors had turned silent, usually signifying deep thought.

**(The Doctor runs out. Gwyneth opens the box and takes out a match. The Gelph swirl around her as the Doctor runs through the house.) **

**[Street]**

**(The Doctor runs out and KaBOOM! The Doctor goes flying across the street.)  
ROSE: She didn't make it.  
DOCTOR: I'm sorry. She closed the rift.  
DICKENS: At such a cost. The poor child.  
DOCTOR: I did try, Rose, but Gwyneth was already dead. She had been for at least five minutes.  
ROSE: What do you mean?  
DOCTOR: I think she was dead from the minute she stood in that arch.  
ROSE: But she can't have. She spoke to us. She helped us. She saved us. How could she have done that?  
DICKENS: There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Even for you, Doctor.  
ROSE: She saved the world. A servant girl. No one will ever know. **

"I'll make sure Gwen knows…" Said Jack quietly.

**[Outside the Tardis]**

**DOCTOR: Right then, Charlie boy, I've just got to go into my, er, shed. Won't be long.  
ROSE: What are you going to do now?  
DICKENS: I shall take the mail coach back to London, quite literally post-haste. This is no time for me to be on my own. I shall spend Christmas with my family and make amends to them. After all I've learned tonight, there can be nothing more vital.  
DOCTOR: You've cheered up.  
DICKENS: Exceedingly! This morning, I thought I knew everything in the world. Now I know I've just started. All these huge and wonderful notions, Doctor. I'm inspired. I must write about them.  
ROSE: Do you think that's wise?  
DICKENS: I shall be subtle at first. The Mystery of Edwin Drood still lacks an ending. Perhaps the killer was not the boy's uncle. Perhaps he was not of this Earth. The Mystery of Edwin Drood and the Blue Elementals. I can spread the word, tell the truth.  
DOCTOR: Good luck with it. Nice to meet you. Fantastic.  
ROSE: Bye, then, and thanks.  
(Rose shakes Dickens' hand then kisses his cheek.)  
DICKENS: Oh, my dear. How modern. Thank you, but, I don't understand. In what way is this goodbye? Where are you going?  
DOCTOR: You'll see. In the shed.  
DICKENS: Upon my soul, Doctor, it's one riddle after another with you. But after all these revelations, there's one mystery you still haven't explained. Answer me this. Who are you?  
DOCTOR: Just a friend passing through.  
DICKENS: But you have such knowledge of future times. I don't wish to impose on you, but I must ask you. My books. Doctor, do they last?  
DOCTOR: Oh, yes!  
DICKENS: For how long?  
DOCTOR: Forever. Right. Shed. Come on, Rose.  
DICKENS: In the box? Both of you?  
DOCTOR: Down boy. See you. **

"I really love Dickens, more so now." Said Amelia, smiling.

**[Tardis]**

**ROSE: Doesn't that change history if he writes about blue ghosts?  
DOCTOR: In a week's time it's 1870, and that's the year he dies. Sorry. He'll never get to tell his story.  
ROSE: Oh, no. He was so nice.  
DOCTOR: But in your time, he was already dead. We've brought him back to life, and he's more alive now than he's ever been, old Charlie boy. Let's give him one last surprise. **

**[Street]**

**(The Tardis materialises in front of Charles Dickens' astonished eyes. He laughs, and walks away. Somewhere a choir sings Hark the Herald Angels.)  
MAN: Merry Christmas, sir.  
DICKENS: Merry Christmas to you. God bless us, every one! **

As Jack was about to make a comment, a feisty ginger landed atop him, in jeans and a dress over them.

"Oi, where the bloody hell am I?"

* * *

**I hope you liked it :D Sorry again for the late update, which I realize you want an update not an apology :D So here it is! More Donna soon, I assure you, my lovelies. **

**QUESTION: **

**Who should the great Donna Noble bunk with?**

**Jack ;D**

**River Song**

**On the couch**

**With Eleven (On his couch)**

**Or other? :D **

**~The-Ood-Must-Feed  
**


	7. The Life And Times of Donna

**Happy thanksgiving guys! (If you celebrate it...) If not, happy regular Thursday! :D Filler chappy, Next Ep. Shall be up soon! :D  
**

* * *

"Donna?" Eleven looked on, incredulous at the fiery red-head, pushing herself off of Jack.

"Oi! Where the hell am I? SPACEMAN!" she looked over at Ten, walking over to him, stomping the whole way.

"S-sorry, er, who are you? Donna?" Ten seemed frightened by the fiery woman.

"What the hell do you mean you don't know who I am? I'm-" she stopped, midway through sentence, staring at Rose. The blond lifted a weak hand in a wave.

"Rose?" at the nod of recognition, the woman' face split into a wide grin. "Oh, you still have! God, I'm a dunce, eh? Temp from Chiswick is all I am. So, before me…Rose. Before Martha. Ooh! So that means... Oi! You!" She turned around to stare at eleven. "That means that you, mister rectangle with hair are the Doctor. The one who knows me, yeah?" At Elevens watery smile of approval, she rushed over and engulfed the skinny man into a large, Donna-hug.

"You sir, have a lot of explaining to do.

* * *

Donna had her fingers massaging her temples at the fact of being pulled from the TARDIS, right after the whole "Turn Left" debacle.

"Well..Yeah, thanks for the offers, but I'll be sleeping on the couch. You'll all bug me anyways. I need my beauty rest." At Jacks' snort, she turned to glare at him.

"So… Doctor, you used to be made of sass, as I've come to understand, yeah?

"Yeah, Donna. Yeah." Responded Eleven, staring at his best friend. He couldn't believe that Donna, the most important woman in the universe had come back. Mind, she didn't know her fate yet. She didn't know it then, either. But he got what he always wanted. Another chance to talk to her. And to talk through the adventures of three regenerations…maybe more, if the show recounted his older regenerations. She was staring around, taking in the new sight around her. He saw her leap up to follow Jack on what he assumed was a tour, as he hadn't been paying attention, caught up in memories. He sat there, until she returned laughing at the winking Captain.

* * *

**Short, I know :D BUT next ep. will be up soon. Thanks for all the awesome reviews and alerts/favourites! The vote for where Donna slept was equal pretty much every way, so I chose randomly :D **


End file.
